Some people come ‘out here’, as I like to call life on the road, to travel.
Others do it to save on rent or mortgage.
Some do both.
And some do it to grow.
You learn uncomfortable truths about yourself in the dark when your pee bucket tips over and you can’t find a light.
You learn that you are not the calm, mature person you thought you were.
When money is tight but you keep spending like there’s no tomorrow yet you criticize others for their spendthrift ways, you don’t want to think about what that makes you.
When the dog misbehaves and you yell at her angrily instead of quietly correcting her the way you learned in doggy school, you try to avoid the mirror.
I have always seen this undertaking as a quest.
quest
/kwɛst/noun
1. the act or an instance of looking for or seeking; search: a quest for diamonds
I planned to travel the country, immerse myself in nature, suffer discomforts, and figure out the fundamental truth of me.
I would face heat, humidity, bugs, and a lack of running water like the brave, resourceful woman I am not.
For some reason, I actually believed this quest would turn me into someone else.
I would miraculously become a prolific writer, a kind, patient dog owner, and just naturally fit and trim.
I would read more and become much better looking.
I would be a font of wisdom.
I would become an outdoor person despite my aversion to sunshine, heat, and humidity.
But I failed. I’m still me.
It was a disappointment at first but I’ve learned something else in this quest: I don’t want to be someone else.
I want to be a better me, just a little better.
I want to write a little more, walk a little more, read a little more, travel a little more, relax a little more.
I once asked a medium, “What is the purpose of life?” and she answered, “To be happy.”
Yes. More of that, please.
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I have the exact thoughts. This lifestyle will make me travel more, hike more, be more fit and be a happier me. I can see that now the happier me has to be happy with myself before the journey, or the journey will be for not.
Thank you
Peggy, I don’t think you have to be happy with yourself before the journey. Go on the journey to figure out what makes you happy.
Amen and Amen! LaVonne,
My quest is to live free and be happy. My mission statement is to leave this campsite, aka, Earth, a little better than I found it. In doing this I find I’m kinder and more receptive of others and animals and nature. I write because I can and I like to. I give because I can and I want to. I’m happy because I choose to be. I’m free (as free as it’s possible to be in an unfree world) because I do my best to allow as little as possible tie me down. I see you living a very similar life. It’s not always peaches and cream or what we want or expect, but it’s better than the alternatives a lot of other people are bound by. Great thoughts and great seeing you last week.
Live free and be happy,
Ed
Great mission statement, Ed, and I’m so glad I got to see you last week, even if only for a few moments. I hope to see you in Q this winter. <3
Sounds like success to me.
Yep, that’s what it feels like. 🙂
All we can do is explore ourselves and our world. You write about it so well.
Yes, and isn’t exploring ourselves and our world the great adventure? Thank you!
I always feel as if you are writing my thoughts about myself. You really capture the human experience, or at least my experience, so well. Thanks for that.
Thank you, Linda!
yes Linda (Buse) me too…on the ‘this could be me’. I Love this post Lavonne, its brilliant….I went without a clue about what I was going to live on. It was a fantastic experience..
but nothing much happened….other than quite enjoying myself most of the time.
I feel like I gave myself time to grow up, and now, have a job again and everything I hoped to achieve by giving up work has started to happen…quite weird…
also… there’s a brilliant ADHD post somewhere that refers to ‘future self’ .. I know now any plans made that depend on my transformation (more exercise, frugal etc) i.e. my ‘future self’, are not going to happen…not that way anyway
You always make me feel so good, Jen!