Do you punish yourself for procrastinating by sitting at your computer hour after hour, even though you’re not being productive in the slightest?
Yeah, me too.
It’s like I’m not allowed to get up until I do the work I’m supposed to be doing (a holdover from the days when Mom wouldn’t let me play until I cleaned my room — so I just sat there, too stubborn to give in.)
We know where that leads, don’t we? It leads to Facebook, my friend. Or Twitter. Or a hundred thousand other tempting online distractions. We work harder at avoiding our work than we do actually working. It’s exhausting.
In his inspiring book about conquering resistance, Turning Pro, Steven Pressfield says this behavior is an addiction to distraction.
Back in the 90s, when this World Wide Web thing was just a baby, news anchors and parents loudly worried about “Internet Addiction,” remember? You don’t hear about that any more, do you? The reason: news anchors (and yes, I used to be one) and parents (still am) are now just as addicted to the web as everyone else.
If the internet was a drug, it would be the ‘spice’ of Frank Herbert’s Dune books and everyone with a computer would have blue eyes.
Well, in spite of all the 90s jokes about 12-step programs for mouse potatoes, there is no rehab for flakes. We have to go it alone. Or do we? After all, there are millions of flakes out there — why not help each other? I’m not saying we need to organize Flakes Anonymous (let’s face it, that would NEVER work) but we can band together, two by two or more, and be work buddies.
I do this on Skype with a group of four friends (who aren’t flakes but they are amazingly understanding and patient). We meet formally once a week to ‘mastermind’ and help each other find solutions to business problems, but we also meet informally almost every day for what we call work sessions. (While I work on my ebook during Kelly Kingman’s Contentpalooza challenge, I’m calling them write-jams.)
We declare what we’re going to work on, set a timer for 30 minutes or an hour, and check back in when the timer goes off. Rinse, repeat — all day, if we’re on a roll.
This simple group effort has done more than anything else to help me become more productive and less flaky.
We urge each other on, commiserate, and encourage. We keep each other on task and accountable — without judgment. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough judgment and criticism in my life. What I need, and get, from my friends is support to help me face my fears and find strategies that help me get shit done in spite of myself.
Find a supportive work buddy or three and give it a try — you may be shocked by your results.
Leave a Comment
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
LaVonne – I’ve long admired your work. I have a lot of the same characteristics and called myself a flake for a long time. I still do, who am I kidding? But I also know that flaky folks like me are also people who are pretty much never bored. And we’re mostly intuitives in the Myers-Briggs sense. I can find the thread and follow it through the tapestry with amazing speed and tenacity. However, that doesn’t necessarily help me keep my kitchen clean, laundry done, or writing having been written.
Here’s my question – how does one get/find/create a mastermind group? I know about them, have read about them, say I want one (well, okay, I do, but I’m a little bit afraid to end up in the nazi version of a mastermind where I get yelled at regularly). So really I think it’s about the finding/creating the right mix of people, and of course, being the right person, too.
And then a more technical question – I know what skype is, it’s cool and all, but I haven’t gotten the hang of it – any quick ideas on that one? I think it’s time I learned how to use this for all sorts of great reasons.
So – thanks! and can you help out on the mastermind question? And maybe the skype question?
Another flake –
Laura Thomas, MFT
Thank you, Laura, that’s quite a compliment!
I felt the same way you do about finding a mastermind group that would ‘fit’ me. I tried to start one or two that quickly fizzled, in fact. Then, working with a group of people on a charity fundraiser, we discovered that we loved working together and didn’t want it to end. So I suggested we form a mastermind. That was a year and a half ago, and we’ve all come to trust and depend on each other through ups and downs.
That’s all I can tell you about finding a mastermind – like falling in love, you’ll ‘just know’ when it’s right. And then comes the long slog of making it work, lol – just like love.
As for Skype – why don’t we get on Skype together and I’ll show you how to use it? My Skype name is lavonne.ellis – add me as a contact and we can set up a time, ok?
Thanks so much for commenting, Laura – can’t wait to ‘meet’ you!
Just curious, how do you feel about the work buddy a few years later? I am interested in the idea and was curious if you still consider it a good idea? Did you end up using a work buddy after writing this?
Thanks
p.s. I like your blob a lot!
Hi Scott, thanks for the compliment — my blob likes you a lot too! lol
I have two work buddies who help me stay more or less on track. (Less, at the moment, though. We’ll get back up to speed after New Year’s.) I would get a lot less done if I didn’t have to ‘face’ them via text chat every morning at 9.