So LaVanne broke down again. Sputtered to a stop at the conjunction of two dirt roads and wouldn’t start. She’s been wonky since RTR but Mike the Mechanic told me she was drive-able — and she was, for a couple of weeks. Now she’s not.
I am actually starting to get used to this.
A friend towed me back to my campsite, and here I sit. I have no money to fix it and no desire to pour more cash into this money pit anyway. I can’t sell it or trade it in until it’s running again, and I still owe several thousand dollars on the car loan. If I stay put and save my money for a few months to buy another van, I’ll still have to pay off this one. If I use that money to fix LaVanne, I won’t be able to trust that she will suddenly be reliable. Trust is gone. If I fix her and trade her in on another van, I’ll be in even more debt.
To be perfectly honest, this life can be as expensive as paying rent — if you have the bad luck (or bad judgment) to buy a lemon. (Sorry, LaVanne, but you have been an expensive mistake.)
My advice to wannabe vandwellers: don’t finance! It’s hard to wait when you’re just dying to get out here and live the life but trust me, stick it out and save until you can buy with cash. Remember why you want to do this: FREEDOM. You can’t be truly free if you are in debt.
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that it happened in the middle of a circle of friends. It’s not like last year in Albuquerque where I was alone and on my own, contemplating a life on the streets.
More good news: I can stay here for at least a couple of months while the weather is good, and I have everything I need to live here (God bless whoever invented solar panels!), with grocery shopping only a few miles away and good friends willing to give me a lift.
So, having little choice, I will stay put and save. I will stop worrying about the future and focus on what I’ve dreamed of my whole life: writing books.
It’s almost as if the Universe is giving me an enforced writing retreat.
Thank you, Universe! (I think.)
Update: It has occurred to me that I do way too much complaining here lately and haven’t shared any of the joy. My apologies. Will try to rectify that in the future. For now, how about this for joy?
Scout at 8 weeks
