In Make Customers Love You
Heidi Dobbs and Misha

Heidi Dobbs and Misha

I was having issues with my wisdom teeth. The pain was horrible, but I was doing my best to work through it. Then, one of my most difficult customers came into the store.

I did my best to be polite as she demanded help. I answered her questions, I gave her advice. All the while, my jaw was throbbing, and I was quickly running out of nice.

Then she announced that she needed a particular brown glass bead. She described the bead; I knew the bead, and showed her where it would be, if we had it. Alas, we didn’t have it.

“And why don’t you have it?” she demanded.

“Because we knew you wanted it!” I responded, as I turned around and walked away.

The Nightmare Customer

Given enough time in business, we all come across one of these Nightmare Customer. My response really wasn’t appropriate, but sometimes you just don’t know what else to do. For whatever reason, some people just seem determined to be unhappy.

They want you to fix it (yesterday!), they want a discount, they want a bajillion changes (at no extra cost!), they expect you to be on-call 24/7, and while you’re at it, could you do this other thing too? (for free of course)

No matter what you do to try to appease them, it never seems to be enough. You finally come to one of only two possible conclusions; either a) you’re obviously a failure, and ought to just close up shop now, or b) this person is really a demon from hell sent to torment you.

While I wouldn’t entirely discount the demon from hell theory (I’ve worked customer service too many years to dismiss it completely), I’d like to offer an alternative to closing up shop. One that doesn’t involve insulting your customer 😉

Learning to Negotiate

When dealing with difficult customers, we often get caught up in ‘debating’ the details. The problem with debate is that only one person gets to win… and the other ends up the loser (and nobody wants to be that person)!

So let go of the debate, remember that you’re in it for the win-win, and prepare to negotiate.

In his book, Getting Past No, William Ury identifies the Five Steps of Breakthrough Negotiation. The first three really provide the foundation for everything else;

  • Going to the Balcony – Start by stepping back; remove yourself emotionally and remember that this isn’t personal. Rather than reacting to what your customer is saying, take the time to consider the situation calmly. It may feel like your customer is attacking you, but it isn’t really about you (hint: it’s about them). If you think you need to respond immediately, do so, but only to let them know that you are considering the issue carefully, and will get back to them within 24 – 48 hours.
  • Step to Their Side – Remember, both you and your customer have the same goal; a positive resolution to the matter at hand. They may see you as an opponent, and expect you to act accordingly. Instead, listen to them, acknowledging any points they may have (rather than arguing the points they don’t), and treat them as an ally.
  • Reframe – When a difficult customer has a complaint, or is making what you feel is an unreasonable request, try reframing it; ask problem-solving questions designed to lead them to a more desirable attitude. Rather than rejecting them outright, reframe!

When All Else Fails

Unfortunately, you may find that even your most diligent negotiations are for naught; no matter how hard you try, there is just no appeasing your Nightmare Customer.

Do you simply admit defeat and refuse to talk to them further? Send them a scathing email detailing just how horrid they are?

As tempting as either of those options may be, they aren’t exactly what I would call a ‘positive resolution’. Rather, consider a few alternatives:

  • Refer them to someone else. Sometimes our problem customers aren’t really Demons from Hell, they’re just people with a different communication style than ours. Rather than dump them outright, try referring them to someone who may be better suited to their needs.
  • Finish the job. If you don’t know anyone else you could refer the customer to (or you aren’t willing to subject anyone else to the torment of dealing with them), you may need to bring the job to a conclusion… in a way that makes it clear that this is the end. This might entail doing more work for less money, or giving them that deep discount. But ultimately, you’re better off ending it than squabbling over the details and continuing your misery.
  • Cut your losses. When you’ve done absolutely everything you can, and it just isn’t getting better, it’s time to cut your losses. Be as polite as you can, let them know you’re sorry you aren’t able to serve them in the way they need… but make it clear that the relationship is over!

Planning Ahead

If you’re lucky, you’ve never come across a customer like this. If you’re really lucky, you have, and you learned some great lessons from the experience.

Either way, the best thing you can do in a situation like this, is be prepared!

Create policies that you can fall back on, and put these policies up where customers can easily find them. Your customers need to know exactly how many re-designs they get, or how many hours of your time, or what the refund policy is.

By giving them this information up front, you’ve created a set of expectations that both you and they can be comfortable with. It means less confusion… which means happier customers!

Do you have clear policies posted where your customers can find them? What could you do to let your customers know what they can expect? Tell me in the comments below!

*Despite my obviously vast and superior knowledge of all things business, I’m giving up bookkeeping and business coaching, and pursuing my true love; life coaching for creative women who are committed to building the life of their dreams! For the next 4 months, I’m offering free coaching sessions to all who are interested 🙂

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Showing 3 comments
  • SuperSimpleGuy (Karim)
    Reply

    Hello Heidi,

    As an ex telemarketer (phoning) I can relate to a lot of things you said.

    Never take your prospect/client ‘attack’ personally, being professional means we need to use mind tricks in order to be the winner of the situation AND satisfy the client at an optimal level (even if he or she ends up not very satisfied)
    – let your customer feel that you value him and respect his vues (but never let him take control of the situation)
    – listening carefully and proving that you are listening carefully is extremely important
    – using and “reframing” the exact words or close to the meaning words used by the prospect or client can make a huge difference, it shows you really care about him/her and what’s driving him/her crazy
    – saying “sorry” at the right time is crucial
    – reframing again and leading the conversation in a way that requires the client to say more “yes” than “no” by asking positive questions
    – being as polite as possible and showing great respect to the client/prospect + showing that you really care by really listening and then reframing… i.e being really sincere and professionally cool: causes the client/prospect to say: “please excuse me for being rude with you, I know that you are just doing your job and I just…” and here is the key moment to create a solution to the problem

    I am running out of focus as it is 02h 57 AM where I am, so these were just one of the most important elements I used too when I was a phoning telemarketer.

    Have a cool day, take care!

    Friendly,
    Karim

    • Heidi
      Reply

      Karim,
      Thanks for joining the conversation! I don’t envy you the position of telemarketer, though you obviously made the most of it as a learning experience 😉

      I’d like to add to your comment of saying ‘sorry’ at the right time; the way we say sorry is also crucial! An apology to a customer should always be accompanied by an offer to make things better. Or at least an honest admission of inability to fix it… customers don’t generally appreciate it when ‘sorry’ feels more like ‘I’m not actually going to do anything to help you, but you aren’t going away, so maybe if I say I’m sorry, that will appease you enough to get rid of you.’ 😉

  • Claire
    Reply

    I like the “step to their side” technique. I, thankfully, rarely have this situation come up. When it does, I try to acknowledge the person’s feelings without agreeing with their points. Sometimes, people just want to be heard.

    I’ve been the dissatisfied customer myself. The most gratifying customer service experiences I’ve had have been when the person truly listened to what I said, even if she couldn’t do anything to remedy the problem.

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