24 things I have learned about life

“Another year shot to hell.”

That was my answer, way back on New Year’s Eve, 1970, when someone asked me how I felt about the just-finished year. I was 24 and almost terminally depressed — disappointed in love, life, and myself.

What a difference 43 years make. (I never said I was a fast learner.)

Here is what I have learned since then, and why I will never waste another year on regret and disappointment:

1. Give yourself a break. “If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not doing anything.” –my mother. Failure is no big deal. Happens all the time. To everyone.
2. Try. You can forgive yourself for failure but not for not trying.
3. Don’t settle for Less, even if you have to do Without until More shows up. (Four marriages. I rest my case.)
4. Don’t mistake Hollywood scripts for real life. Write your own script. (See #3)
5. There are all kinds of Love — romantic, family, friendship. They are equally important and valuable. Don’t sacrifice one for the other.
6. Your choices affect everyone around you. Think before you leap.
7. Don’t just sit there — learn something.
8. Practice. Become really, really good at what you love doing.
9. Trust your instincts.
10. Know your strengths.
11. Trust, but verify. Everyone lies, if only to themselves.
12. You are not wrong just because someone else thinks you are.
13. You are not right just because you think you are.
14. Be kind — to yourself as well as to others. Others include: people, animals, and Mother Earth.
15. Your purpose in life is to be happy. That’s it.
16. Happiness is about more than just you. It’s about the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments too. (Even if you’re not religious.)
17. Life is complicated.
18. Let it go. Anger and regret are good for awhile, to help us protect ourselves and take responsibility. After that, they’re a waste of time and energy.
19. Learn to forgive. Include yourself in your forgiveness.
20. It’s about compassion.
21. And gratitude.
22. Some things can’t be fixed. You can’t fix people, but you can love them anyway.
23. Just be sure to keep strong boundaries, and…
24. Hope for the best.

Wishing you a wise, peaceful, and very happy 2014.

Love you,