Friday, October 6, 2016 – Hillsboro, OR
Sometimes I get stuck. In mud or sand, yes, but I’m talking metaphorically here.
I can think of lots of things to write, good things, but I’m doing something else at the time and I tell myself to save them until I can get to the laptop… and then I forget. So I put off writing anything at all for a day, then two, then a week, two weeks, three… you get the idea. I get stuck.
You would think that I could have come up with a strategy to solve this problem by now, but no. Well, actually, there is a very simple solution that works every time I try it: write every day. But I forget. Or I just put it off. “I’ll write tomorrow,” I tell myself.
But, you know, tomorrow never comes
So here I am, starting again in the desperate hope that my muscle memory of fingers on keyboard will trigger a thought memory of something brilliant I was thinking just the other day. But no.
Oh, well. At least I am typing.
Ah, here is a thought I had just yesterday: I was talking with a new friend who wanted to know if I’ve learned anything on this six-month (so far) odyssey. Which made me remember that I had just been thinking about that the other day, and what was it? Oh, right: something about learning to accept myself the way I am.
I know, lame
I mean, it’s not as if you don’t read that very same advice in magazines and on social media every fucking day: learn to accept yourself the way you are. Thanks, Facebook. Thanks, interminable road trip. I was hoping for a slightly more profound epiphany than that. This is a vision quest, after all. I mean, what do I have to do to get a better vision, find a sweat lodge and take some peyote?
Sorry. I may be a little tired and cranky
It’s cold and rainy and I’m sitting in a Walmart parking lot, wishing this trip was over. I have accepted that this is who I am: a tired, cranky old lady sitting in a damp van who just wants to go home and take a nap.
But the trip isn’t over yet. I have a month or more to go. I’m sure I will enjoy meeting more friends, love the beauty of the Oregon and California coasts, and will share many more photos and videos of Scout running on beaches, but right now that’s not who I am. Good thing my bed is right next to this chair. It’s looking mighty inviting.
At least I wrote something.
