“You’re not a wimp, are you?”
“Yes, I am. I am a total wimp.”
“Not after two childbirths.”
“I was out for both of them.”
“Oh.”
Dr. Sahlolbei sounded disappointed in me. He leaned in to look at the weeping incision on my abdomen. Five days after surgery for a bowel obstruction, an hour before I was to be transferred from the hospital to a nursing home to recover, it had become infected.
I could feel my need to be the Good Patient kick in. Please the doctor, please the doctor.
He kept talking. I tried to focus on his words instead of the painful twinge of the first staple coming out.
“See?” he said, triumphant. “You didn’t even feel that.”
“No, no, I did feel it!”
I was frantic to prove to him that I was not a malingerer but he didn’t believe me.
Another twinge, and another. I gasped, held my breath.
“Deep breaths,” said my nurse, Lioda, an elderly Asian woman who had taken care of me with compassion for days.
“Hold my hand,” I said to her, and she held tight.
Dr. Sahlolbei mocked Lioda for her kindness.
“Don’t tell her to breath deep,” he said.
Then the incision was open and he was scrubbing my open wound with peroxide. All Good Patient pretense fell away and I screamed. He didn’t like that.
“You can’t scream when the nurses are doing this,” he said. “They won’t want to hurt you and won’t do a good job of cleaning you up.”
Unlike him. He wasn’t afraid to hurt me.
I felt excruciating tugs as he packed the open wound with gauze and suddenly I was on a gurney being wheeled out into the blinding desert sun to an ambulance to take me a few blocks to the nursing home.
“Can’t I stay one more day?” I asked but the answer was no. I had to leave.
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What an awful doctor! The epitome of having a terrible bedside manner. I hope you never have to see that doctor again. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. So sorry you had to go through this LaVonne.
Horrible Dr
Wow what kinda human is that. When he was done I would have screamed four letter words at him. Sad that some Dr have to be such jerks and then expect to get paid. I hope you have a quick recovery and never have to see him again. A big hug to my very brave friend.
Holy crap, LaVonne! Do you need someone there to advocate for you? Are you nearby? Sometimes we just need someone to take that shit over, you know?
Great choice of picture all prickly and sharp like :).
Do you need anything? A book of poems, a posy of roses, an orange or fruit of choice, a happy get well soon balloon, a kiss blown on the wind perhaps, any of these things I can do for you and will do at your request dear LaVonne.
I wish however to fly to your side and hold your hand with a smile, and say the words you need to hear, and watch over you as you sleep, keep those mean doctors away.
Blessed be BFG
Thanks for the supportive outrage, everyone, and sorry I haven’t responded sooner. I was furious with Dr. S afterwards but he made up for it when he released me from the nursing home on Monday. He apologized! Not for the episode above but for keeping me waiting all weekend for him to come and remove my staples so I could get out of that depressing nursing home (with two Alzheimer’s roomies). I am now happily reunited with my van and puppy, lazing away along the shores of Lake Murray in San Diego. More in my next post…
Hope he’s never in that situation. Well, honestly, I kinda do.
Haha, me too!
So GLAD you are out of the hospital/nursing home. Sending healing thoughts your way!!
LaVonne, you are one brave little chickadee! Hopefully, you are fully recovered now and have stuff this rotten experience into that bucket in the very back of the mind closet, where it can died a well deserved death.
That said, here’s a tiny trick that might come in handy in the future. My husband is a health care provider. He’s been in the business for a long, long time. Usually, when one of us goes south (health wise) my dearest beloved decides which “good guy” will help us and that is who we go to. All these years, my husband’s colleagues knew that I was married to “dearest beloved” and would treat me accordingly; which is to say, they treated me very, very nicely.
We moved and now I’m picking the doctors because dearest beloved doesn’t have many colleagues out here. After the first time someone treated me like a beef patty on a conveyor belt, I had an epiphany. Now, I always start each doctor’s visit with: “my Dearest Beloved, who is a professor at such-n-such medical school said that I should see you because you have a great reputation”, blah, blah & blah, blah. That usually gets their ears twitching and a self important smile that is about to benefit ME.
If there’s any pain coming my way, I do not act flustered, I’m not afraid because my Dearest Beloved has already explained to poor little empty headed me, that there is no need for patients to be in pain anymore. We are not living in the medieval times, we have medicine, anesthetics and analgesics to cope with discomfort. This has always done the trick for me. If you are currently without a Dearest Beloved, I suggest you call upon a reference to your cousin Melba, your Son Gary, your Dad long since passed, or your niece Shirley. They’ve always advised you to let the doctor know that you’d like more pain medicine if you feel you need it. Never forget: if you are in the doctor’s office or in a hospital, they have a fiduciary responsibility to make procedures as painless as possible. If this is not so, you can refuse treatment until your needs are met. If you really want to get their attention, and this does take the situation up several notches, demand to speak with the hospital administrator. No one likes to hear a patient say that. There is an admin in the hospital 24 hours a day.
A good local anesthetic, during suture removal, debriefing and packing the wound was your right, it was medically necessary and God knows why the practitioner didn’t follow this.
Too late to help you in February, but useful information for next time.
Excellent advice, thank you!
Great advice and I will file it away if it is ever needed. Thanks!
Hi,
Although we have never met, I feel as if we have known each other for years. So, I decided that I needed to check in to see how you are feeling given all the health issues you have been dealing with. Hope you are recovering and feeling much better.
Regards
Sandi
Hi, Sandi! I’m all recovered and feeling much better, thank you!
Hurrah!! Blessings to you!