The CustomerLove challenge. It sounds so inviting and fun!
Photo by Beige Alert
I was instantly attracted to the idea of challenging myself and launching a new group coaching program. I heard that voice in my head say, “I’m going to do this and I’m going to do it right!” Ah ha. See where this is going?
Right to my biggest block, the old perfectionism thing.
I looked at my website and thought, no, this site isn’t right. It isn’t my voice. I need to redesign the whole thing first, then I’ll launch the coaching program. I became obsessed with finding my voice, digging deep into what my work is all about. My CustomerLove challenge derailed.
Enter coaching call with Sandi Amorim. We are talking about this little, tiny problem with perfectionism, and she asks the million dollar question:
“What won’t happen if you don’t launch just the way it is?”
If I don’t launch just the way it is, I will get to stay right where I am and keep doing things the way I’ve been doing them. Yikes. I don’t want that. Or do I? That insight showed me that I am getting something from not launching. That is where it is really juicy.
What do I get out of it? What am I protecting?
It comes back to some story I’ve been living for a long, long time. It is so deeply ingrained that I don’t recognize it. The story is tied to not being good enough, not being enough. What I’ve been getting out of my “stuck” behavior is freedom. Free to stay small and invisible. Free to stay distracted by email and social media. Free to spend my time reading and researching.
It is a lower level of freedom.
My heart knows the freedom I value most is the freedom to do the work I love to do. The highest level of freedom is to allow me to be me. To allow me to be seen, even to shine!
I thought I was going to write a post here about the work I do, but my heart opened and allowed me to write about me. All this from one session with Sandi. I am so grateful for the love and support that is here, all around me if I’m willing to see it and allow it in.
I’ll redesign my website, in good time. But I won’t let it stop me from making offers, from launching webinars and a coaching program. And I will not let perfectionism keep me from the higher level of freedom that is already mine.
What about you? What stops you from launching?
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Tami, this really resonates with me in a deep and way… Even though I am making launch dates and working towards my goals of what i want, sometimes i find it enveloping to just learn and learn and learn and not implement, I do have to forcefully push myself past my own limits to implement what I am learning. I’m still learning, because I know I need to if I am going to get where I want to be, but every day I try to do something out of my normal bounds. Sometimes its a much harder thing and other times its a seemingly easy thing to do.
For example: One of my challenges for myself is to find a way to guest post on a particular persons site whom i greatly admire. Two nights ago I wrote to her with my initial request and idea, and then the next day we sent emails back and forth going over what she wanted and I offered ideas that I thought would work. So far none of them are what she wants, but that doesn’t mean I am going to give up, I sent another idea today and I’m waiting for her response. Though she hasn’t liked any of them I learned so much that I wouldn’t have, had I not mustered up the kahunas to email in the first place. And I figured that I could use the ideas she rejected for myself or to try and get another guest post on another site, because they aren’t bad ideas, just not for her site.
That is awesome Emily. I so admire the way you are working toward your goals. You seem fearless to me and what you shared is a good example of letting go of perfectionism.
It is cool that you are using this experience as a learning tool. I would probably share one idea and then back off. But how can I learn if I don’t keep going?
I love guest posting as a way of being introduced to a new audience. As with everything there’s two sides of the coin. You give a great example of offering to write a guest post and the other side is knowing what to do in accepting a guest post.
One of the things we have to do (as a personal brand) is to have a platform, or stated another way, know what we are about. We develop an audience based on our platform (or Point of View). Considering what our audience wants to hear is really important.
Your last line really hit the nail on the head for me: “they aren’t bad ideas, just not for her site.”
Love it… and good fortune with finding the right places to guest post.
This is the first article I’ve read on the Customer Love site. I was inspired to sign up to get to know this community on the request of my “productivity coach” (Thanks Kirsten!) while breaking myself away from the mindset of “trading time for money”. While it’s going to be an uphill climb, what I read here really hit me in my gut. Because I’m the exact same way.
Of course, my issue is the “nobody can ever do it as fast/well” as I can” that’s holding me back. Any tips for that kind of perfectionism conundrum?
Thanks so much for visiting and commenting, Sherice! My problem with perfectionism is that I’m afraid I can’t come up to my own standards – which are impossibly high, of course. Great excuse not to try at all. I’m getting over that by allowing myself to suck, lol. Turns out there are no quality police out there, waiting to pounce on my sucky work — and not only that, people seem to think it doesn’t suck! Who knew?
Hi Sherice,
That is a tough challenge! I think working from your strength and letting other people help in areas you aren’t strong in, is the best way to move forward. Truthfully, I find myself in the same boat but the more I work from my strength the less I struggle.