Phone-o-form-a-phobia

I have a phobia. I make jokes about it because it sounds silly but yesterday I had a huge anxiety attack over it, and it wasn’t funny at all.

I call it phone-o-form-a-phobia — a fear of phone calls and paperwork

I’m not afraid of calls with people I know, but having to make a call to a stranger to try to get some business done — especially if I need to persuade said stranger of something I’m afraid they won’t agree to — well, it gets my stomach churning.

To be honest, a situation like this is what puts me in major procrastination mode. Which only makes it worse. The more I put off picking up the phone and dialing the number, the more anxious I get, and the harder it gets to do just that. It’s the definition of a vicious circle.

My usual solution is to pick up the phone before I can think about it and get more nervous. I practice what I’m going to say while the other side is ringing, and I blurt it out as soon as I get the right person on the line.

It’s a pretty good strategy; most people are surprisingly reasonable

But even though I know this is true, and tell it to myself repeatedly, the phobia is still there. I’ve simplified my life to the point where stomach-churning phone calls are rarely necessary but yesterday there seemed no way out.

Rewind to the Big Crash, i.e., the Day I Killed the Cow (sorry, cow!)

When I saw the damage to the van, I was sure it was completely totaled and that the insurance company would send me a nice check, and even pay off my loan. When my angel, Jen, gave me her van, it seemed that my problems weren’t just solved but improved. I waited (and waited) for the claims adjuster to inspect poor Dorothy the Van and write a check.

Nope.

I got the estimate a few days ago. No mention of a check, only repairs. What?! How could that be? I imagined trying to sell Dorothy, with the accident on her Carfax record, at a price that would cover what I still owed. Who would want to buy her now? I wouldn’t.

I contacted Jen and asked her if she wanted El Milagro back (yes, that’s the name I’ve decided on.) She said no, and that I was welcome to sell him. But I didn’t want to. This van is a comfortable little home, something I’m sorry to say Dorothy never was. (Don’t get me wrong; she was a great van for traveling but the living conditions were cramped.)

Then, I called my friends Linda and Jessica, who talked me through the process of fighting the insurance company to get what I wanted: a determination that Dorothy was totaled, a check to pay off the loan and enough left over to put El Milagro in travel-ready shape.

It was a tense few days as the emails flew back and forth with the insurance company. I stalled on telling them where to send the van for repairs.

Yesterday, it seemed my cause was lost

I got an email saying, “At this time, your vehicle is repairable and needs to be taken to a body shop for repairs.”

One strategy, coached by both Jess and even her father (!) on a conference call, was to phone the body shop and explain the whole thing in hopes they would take pity on me and say Dorothy needed more expensive repairs than the adjuster had estimated. But why would they do that if it meant losing the repair job?

I couldn’t make myself pick up the phone

I drove to the tow yard to take more photos of the van to prove my case, but she was locked behind a concrete wall. I wouldn’t be able to see Dorothy until the following day.

My anxiety meter was in the red zone by now. I needed my drug of choice to calm down: ice cream. I went to the nearest McDonald’s, but the ice cream machine was down. What to do? I found a gas station and bought a Choco Taco. It didn’t help.

In one last-ditch effort, I sent the following email:

Go ahead and move it to [body shop address]. I want to get an independent estimate because I believe that it needs a new engine and the frame must be damaged as well. I will not feel safe driving this van without those repairs.

Frankly, I was lucky to get out alive and without major injury.

Please see attached photos.

I crossed my fingers but finally gave up hope. Then, this morning, another miracle happened:

Good Morning LaVonne!

I have reviewed this claim with the current estimate we have as well as the expected supplements a shop repairing would have and have determined it to be a total loss. I have assigned this to our total loss team so a total loss adjuster can get in contact with you to go over the value and the next steps. They usually take 1-2 business days to get assigned and get in contact with you. If you haven’t heard from someone in 2 business days please let me know. I am getting the tow for your vehicle scheduled now. I apologize about any confusion with this so far. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks!

Monica Ray
Root Insurance Co

To be honest, I missed this part: have determined it to be a total loss. I thought Monica was just reconsidering, which was certainly encouraging, but when I reread the email a few minutes later, I realized, OMG I WON!

So I guess that’s three miracles

1. Scout and I survived the accident without a scratch (well, one tiny scratch).
2. We were given a new-to-us van that has all the improvements I’d been wishing for.
3. And now, I won’t have to make any more van payments or worry about selling a damaged van.

It’s a weird feeling, to be glad the accident happened. I’ll miss Dorothy’s reliability and drive-ability but I’m so, so happy to have El Milagro’s comfortable home.

Life is good.