I got a lot done the past few days but the The Daily Nudge wasn’t one of them.
Dammit.
When I remembered it the first night, I was too exhausted to even think about it. The next day, I was embarrassed. And today, I am pissed off.
Here is what I was thinking yesterday as I tried and failed to make myself write some kind of apology to you:
What kind of credibility do I have as an accountability coach when I am not even accountable myself? How will they ever take me seriously? Why on earth would anyone ever hire me? I might as well forget the whole thing.
All day, I got to listen to that litany. It was loads of fun, let me tell you.
So I ran away from the shaming voice and decided, like Scarlett O’Hara, to think about it tomorrow. Then I watched TV until I fell asleep sitting up.
Does any of this sound familiar?
My over-reaction to a small failure was actually typical perfectionism. Hillary Rettig says in her book, “The 7 Secrets of the Prolific: The Definitive Guide to Overcoming Procrastination, Perfectionism, and Writer’s Block” that perfectionists are so hard on ourselves that we become paralyzed, running to the nearest distraction to avoid facing our own imperfection.
I had tried to write several Nudges but I didn’t like how they were coming out. I wanted every Nudge to be fucking brilliant.
Turns out it’s not possible, sorry.
So I got stuck.
Like Thumper the Rabbit says (sort of), “If you can’t do something perfect, don’t do nothing at all.”
Yeah, don’t do that.
Be perfectly imperfect. There is no other way.
And, you know, I might even be able to help.
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Good job. Always know if you are feeling a certain way, you are NOT the first person to feel that way. It’s o.k. to give yourself a day off now and then. This Nudge is a good one I think, maybe even brilliant.
Aww thanks, Charlene!
As if the external world doesn’t dump enough demands upon us, and then find us lacking, why do some of us have the need to invent more things to fail at, more ways to feel like shit? Is it that we’re trying to prove the critics wrong? Are we trying to win the approval of those who refuse to give it? People who might not even exist anymore—or who don’t even know we exist?
Deep questions indeed! Thank you for making me think.
Maybe imperfect imperfection is the answer—you know, wherein we slip up once in a while and accidentally achieve perfection. For a moment.
Al, you are a Zen master!
What is the sound of one hand not being perfect?