I had high hopes for this adventure. I was sure that once I was “out there” (out here, now), I would write every day and lose every pound — effortlessly, of course. But no, that’s not how adventures work. They take effort, lots of it. And they require facing our deepest, darkest selves. Which I was kinda hoping to skate through.
No such luck
Maybe I should count myself lucky that my deepest, darkest self is not all that deep or dark, really. I’m just a weak-willed, lazy, junk food-obsessed schlump, that’s all. Like most people.
Truth: I have given up all pretense of eating healthy or keeping up on daily blog posts (although I am still painfully slogging through the memoir, so there’s that.)
Where food is concerned, I am a true junkie, as addicted as if carbs were heroin. Yesterday, I started off right but then took a hard left turn: scrambled eggs for breakfast, a mango/spinach smoothie for lunch — and then for dinner: THREE ice cream bars, and a BIG bag of dill pickle potato chips. This is bad, folks. I am gaining back the weight I lost last year and I can feel my blood pressure going back up to where it doesn’t belong.
More truth: I am scared to get back on the straight and narrow because of the miserable withdrawal I will have to go through to get there. You’ve heard of detox headaches when people start healthy new diets? Mine last a week. And they are doozies. I’ve been through this so many times, I don’t know if I can take it again.
Should I stock up on smoothie ingredients and water and go way out in the desert, far away from convenience stores, to sweat it out cold turkey? I’ve tried gradually tapering off and it doesn’t work. But I know from experience that cravings go away once I start doing daily green smoothies (thanks to my now-working solar setup, I can use the blender in La Vanne, yay!)
Or should I give up now and enjoy myself, health be damned?
No, of course not. But I wish I could just check into Betty Ford and get whatever meds they hand out to their detoxing addicts. Hmm, maybe that’s it — in a way: I could see a doctor, explain the problem, and get meds for the headache, plus something to make me sleep for a week. Wouldn’t that be nice? I could sleep through the whole awful thing. If only!
Green smoothie — my only hope!
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Coming off junk food isn’t easy, last year I did the WW and got about 20 lbs off but it is so easy to slip back into bad habits. I did however find that I lost my addiction to sugar over time but I couldn’t go cold turkey, no way. I would just have whatever I wanted but small amounts. Good luck, it would be more challenging doing it in a van, I would imagine. Dill pickle potato chips and ice cream sounds like a great dinner to me!
Lynn, I’ve been eating chips and ice cream for lunch AND dinner lately — scary! I’m planning to go cold turkey starting tomorrow, so we’ll see how it goes. I don’t think it’s more challenging in the van because I can at least move away from temptation and find a nice, remote camping spot when I get to Cottonwood. Another trick, suggested by fellow camper Wayne, is to set up camp (awnings, solar and such) so that it’s a pain in the ass to take down when you want to drive out for junk food, lol. Sounds like a good idea.
sounds like me….morning rich in smoothies and ready to take on the day! evenings the toughest and continually remind myself…prepare ahead of time or try at least. one blogger wrote she took one day to prepare for the week…nice idea! dill pickle chips….give me a whole bag too!
Hi cozygirl, thanks for commenting! Yes, evenings are tough. Wishing I had some sleeping pills to help me get through the next week. I’m going in… if you don’t hear from me in 7 days, call 911!
Well well well we are truly connected. My addiction to sugar is major BUT my addiction to Pepsi is a nightmare. I have told myself EVERY Monday sense Jan 1st that I will give up pop and sugar. It is a lie I tell myself every Tuesday. Next Monday lol. I gave up cigarettes last Jan 1st after 40 years. Like you I HATE the thought of withdraws and headache and the mental abuse I put myself thru to reach this goal.So hear it goes I will do this Monday. Oh forget the gym that’s on hold till oh we will see lol.
Pepsi/Coke addiction is the worst, Linda. Took me DECADES to get off Diet Coke. And sugar is the next hardest thing to quit. If only I could taper off, but even a little kicks off the craving all over again, the way a recovering alcoholic doesn’t dare even TASTE a drink. When I get to Cottonwood, I’m settling in for a week of hell while I kick the sugar and carbs again. Big help: cramming in lots of high quality nutrition via green smoothies and probiotics, drinking lots of water to help flush out the toxins that are causing the headaches, and exercise (lots of walking, in my case) — also to flush out the toxins. The motivation to stick with it comes from telling myself I NEVER want to go through another hell week again.
We can do eet!!!
They make dill pickle potato chips? Wow – I must have been under a rock and missed these. Fine, one more thing I’ll have to add to the “what to have for dinner” list! Great post, LaVonne 🙂
I just discovered dill pickle potato chips while on the road, Lois — maybe Lay’s just came out with them, I don’t know, but they are like crack for me — those and Snickers ice cream bars. Why doesn’t Betty Ford have a rehab clinic for food addicts?!