Day 9: 5 Surprising Reasons We Hide From Our Customers

Raise your hand if you have difficulty putting yourself in front of your customers. Go ahead, don’t be shy. If it makes you feel better, I’m putting my hand up as I type this… because I have definitely felt the fear of putting myself out there.

I used to think it was because I’m shy; an introvert by nature who just isn’t comfortable being in the spotlight. And that’s true, to a point.

But beyond that point… well, let’s just say that, as I’ve worked on this issue with my clients (some of whom are definitely not shy introverts), I’ve discovered some surprising reasons we hide from our customers!

They might say yes!

When you’re new to Doing Your Thing, one of the least expected (and scariest) fears can be the idea of offering your services and hearing ‘yes’! Suddenly it’s all very real, and frightening thoughts start to rear their ugly heads;

• I’ll have to actually do my Thing!
• What if I’m no good?
• What if I don’t like it?

I have a theory, that the human imagination evolved as a way to help us prepare for potentially dangerous situations. Unfortunately, it’s a little too good at it’s job sometimes! As you consider all the things that could go wrong, it’s easy to become paralyzed by fears.

So how do you navigate these paralyzing fears? Rather than letting your imagination run rampant, you can use it to your advantage! With a bit of intentional focus, your imagination can help you prepare for the scary step of actually Doing Your Thing.

Questions to help you harness your imagination;

• What is the absolute worst that could happen?
• Would you survive?
• What steps could you take now to avoid the worst case scenario?

Not knowing how to talk about your Thing

As a creative entrepreneur, you face a unique challenge when developing your Thing; unlike doctors, lawyers, or even retail salespeople, describing what you do isn’t always cut and dry. You find yourself hesitating when it’s time to talk about it, worrying over what to say. After all…

• You aren’t really clear yourself
• You don’t know how to describe it in a way that makes sense
• When you’ve tried talking about it, people seem to misunderstand

So what do you do, when you can’t seem to find the words? Ask a friend to play ‘sounding board’; talk it out with them, try different ways of saying the same thing, and have them ask questions when they aren’t clear on what you’re saying.

Questions to help you talk about your Thing;

• What is it similar to?
• What is it definitely not?
• What type of people is it for?
• Who would not be a good fit?

Fear of Being Judged

Is your Thing a little… different? Does it feel like something other people might not understand? Maybe you want to combine two things that don’t seem to go together, or you want to offer a service in a way that hasn’t been done before. Call it Highschool Syndrome, there’s a part of you that is terrified of being judged as weird, or silly, or just plain different. When you’re in business, this translates to thoughts such as;

• What if they think I’m weird?
• I could lose existing customers!
• Nobody will want to pay me for something so different!

So how do you overcome the fear of being judged? As countless mothers have said to countless teenagers; just be yourself! The more you embrace the things that make you unique, the more you’ll resonate with your Right People.

Questions to help you embrace your uniqueness;

• Who do you really want to work with?
• What unique qualities or traits do you possess that would resonate with those people?
• How can you share those traits and qualities in a way that feels both safe and real?

Fear of Success

LaVonne touched on this in Day 1 of this month’s challenge; as much as we want to be successful, we often sabotage ourselves out of fear of success. Sometimes, it’s because we don’t think we’re ready, that we’re not yet ‘good enough’.

However, there’s another, more insidious reason we fear success; without realizing it, we’ve defined success as containing undesirable qualities. When you think of success, you may find yourself worrying;

• You’ll no longer fit in with your friends and family
• You’ll become a workaholic, or a corporate sell-out, or an ass!
• You won’t have time to enjoy life
• You’ll have to sacrifice too much

So how do you get beyond the fear of success? You could do as LaVonne did, and give yourself permission to go slow (putting yourself in front of your customers doesn’t have to mean being big now).

You could also redefine success, to better suit what would actually make you happy. After all, if you aren’t happy, it won’t feel much like success!

Questions to help you redefine success;

• What part of success scares you?
• How could you define success so the scary parts aren’t included?
• What would your ideal definition of success be?

Fear of having to change

Fear of being judged, fear of success, fear of being misunderstood… underneath all of these is a fear of not being good enough. Of not having what it takes, not being professional enough, or having enough training, or knowledge, or natural talent.

All of which means that you’ll have to change, if you want to be taken seriously… or so it seems.

• You’ll have to work all the time
• You’ll have to stop doing the funny quirky things that make you stand out
• You’ll have to wear uncomfortable suits
• You’ll have to network
• You’ll have to develop an elevator speech

The list goes on and on, and the more you think about it, the more inadequate you feel. The more you worry that Doing Your Thing will mean changing who you are, completely.

So how do you overcome the fear of having to change? Embrace your unique qualities, and remember that it is these qualities that will resonate with your Right People.

Also, recognize that change is inevitable, but that you get to choose who you become; look forward to the opportunity to grow, approach it with conscious intent, and enjoy the process!

Questions to help you embrace change as a chance to grow;

• What qualities or traits do you most admire in yourself?
• How can you build on these qualities and traits?
• What qualities or traits would you like to improve?
• What small steps could you take now to improve those qualities or traits?

What fears are holding you back?

Once you’ve recognized the fears that keep you hiding from your customers, what steps will you take to overcome them?

Please share in the comments below… you may discover a way through your fears that could someone else through theirs!