Day 21: Showing Up to Dinner Without a Bra

Posted November 21, 2010

When I first heard about the Customer Love challenge last month I was all over it like white on rice. This was exactly the boost I needed.

Basically I was in a rut. I started my freelance business in June and by August I was working long days doing a very specific type of writing I am extremely talented at (take a moment to marvel at my humility) but do not necessarily enjoy.

So when I read Naomi’s post, then LaVonne’s, I decided to take this Customer Love thing head-on. I would redefine my business, update my USP, identify an alternate source of potential clients and gain a new level of sincere appreciation for the clients I already had…including those who have yet to realize how much they need me.

I really threw myself into the task. One of my first goals was to shift most of my energy to my blog and finishing my e-book. If I was going to create the business of my dreams, it was going to take focus and action.

A couple weeks into the challenge and everything was going great. My days were spent writing, outlining and organizing. At night I’d spend a few hours on Twitter (my newest and historically most productive addiction).

I was full of vim and vigor, or piss and vinegar depending on who you asked, although I still didn’t really feel like I was living up to the challenge. Something was missing.

**I wasn’t giving anything.**

Throwing myself into the blogosphere I read everything I could get my hands on that might help. Then, finally, it came to me. I was reading Jonathan Mead’s book “The Zero Hour Workweek” and had an epiphany when he talked about the importance of a mastermind/accountability group.

That’s it! I would give back to my fellow tribe members AND would-be clients by creating a mastermind group we could all benefit from. I wrote up a quick post about it, baptized it “The Dream Factory” and started tweeting away.

Now, let me pause here to say that I had every intention of taking the Dream Factory post down after a few days when no one signed up. Seriously. I was completely convinced, and at peace with the fact, no one would be interested.

But then the unthinkable happened. People started signing up! A lot of people. Way more people than I had ever anticipated…zero being the upper limit of my expectations.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about this. Success. I knew I was not necessarily feeling good about it. I certainly wasn’t enjoying it. I think it made me feel slightly nauseous.

After getting the anxiety attacks under control I decided this was all Jonathan’s fault. I sent him an email asking for further advice on how to handle a mastermind group of this size…and from this many time zones.

See, in the midst of all this greatness happening around me, TO me, I only allowed myself to experience anxiety, overwhelm and a strong desire to find someone to blame.

What a total waste of good juju!

Here’s the problem, here’s where I screwed up right from the start, and its simplicity can be deceiving: I did not prepare myself for a win.

While my level of enthusiasm may have been on-target and my heart in the right place, it was all meaningless if I was ill-prepared and ultimately let fear take the wheel.

Needless to say dozens of people ready, willing and excited to participate quickly and quietly fell away. I had not expected them. I had not created the space for them to be there.

It’s like I announced a dinner party and sent out invitations but never prepared any food or set the table. Everyone shows up and I’m in my yoga clothes, braless, eating a cheddar-n-broccoli hot pocket and looking completely baffled.

Luckily, I’m very happy to report, a few people overlooked my bad taste in food and stayed anyway. I’m still braless but they can’t see me so it’s not an issue.

The group is active and richly rewarding for me and, I hope, everyone else. However, I can’t help but feel that I let everyone down on some level. That I failed to deliver what I’d promised. Because I did.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not beating myself up about this. That’s always a losing battle. Honestly, I don’t even feel badly about it.

Sure, I screwed up. Royally. But it’s OK. It’s a lesson learned and one more stepping stone towards getting it right.

Many times in life it’s just plain easier to marginalize ourselves than to take on what we’re really capable of. Each of us has it in us to succeed. But in order for us to succeed we must first embrace success. Simple…but certainly not easy.

Napoleon Hill once wrote “First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality.”

From the beginning success needed to be an element in my thoughts, then into the organization of those thoughts. Had I done so, I would’ve had my f*#@n’ table set and we’d all be stuffed and drunk by now!

I’m old enough to know that one doesn’t get many do-overs in life so you can imagine how thrilled I am to be taking the Customer Love Challenge a second time. I’m also comforted by the fact that I’m not the only one feeling a do-over is in order. And, tough lessons aside, I’m feeling so very blessed to be right where I am right now, in this moment, writing this to you.

PS: Jonathan DID email me back by the way…like an hour later…with as much advice as he could offer. Very, very cool guy. You should go buy something from him.

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