Day 24: Are you terrified of the no?

Admit it. You’ve wondered.

You spend all this time loving your customers. You pour your very heart and soul into understanding their needs, the stuff that does their heads in. Their passion. Their pains. You really feel like you’re getting inside their heads.

And at the same time, you inject your energy into creating a dreamy offering. The ultimate solution to that thing they really need you for. So perfect for your little darling, you wipe a tear away as your write the sales page.

And yet, if you’re honest, there’s this thing nagging at you

What if it’s all a waste of time?

What if they say no?!

How ever would you cope with the emotional battering of such a heartbreaking moment?

All that time and energy and, and, you think – and they still say no??!

We talked earlier in month about the fear of the yes but there is no other word that delivers as much emotional bang for your buck as the big enn-oh.

I understand sweet pea, really I do. When you hear a no, it’s like they’re making a judgement about you personally. When you hear a no, it sends you into a spin.

“Maybe it’s my sales page. Did I use compelling enough copy?”

“Maybe I didn’t love them enough. Do they really, properly trust me and like me?”

“Maybe it’s the price? Am I being greedy? Underselling myself? Not using the right price point?”

And then, of course, there’s the crashing realisation that now they’ve said no to this, despite all the loving and giving you put out there, you’re no better off then you were 30 days ago.

It’s enough to make you want to curl up into a little ball and cry!

But what if there was another way? What if, instead of leaving you feeling pained and dejected when you hear a no, what if you could finish this challenge with style and aplomb, regardless of what your customers do or don’t buy?

*Insert random rustling noise as El digs around in her overstuffed handbag of goodies.*

Aha! Got it! It’s time to insert one magic wand into the story.

Yeah, I hear you, “Not that old magic wand trick. We all know there’s no magic wand, El, so spare us the crap!”

Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, my lovely. We do have a very fine magic wand ready to do our bidding. Stand back. It’s a powerful one!

Are you ready?

But first, let’s stop for a moment (close your eyes if you’re so inclined, but it’s really not obligatory) and think about that time, 5 days from now, when you pull back the curtain on your thing for the world. Where are you? What are you doing? How do you feel?

Nervous? Excited? Sick? Anxious?

On edge? Full of anticipation but maybe just a little bit uncertain?

And it’s as this point that I step into your story and hand you a flask. You know the ones with the cork stopper? I pull out the stopper with a delightfully satisfying ‘pop’ before giving you a look.

You know what to do, and in one swift move, you grab a hold of all that energy, the nerves, the nausea, the uncertainty, and you pour it into the flask. Doubt. Worry. Indecision. That goes in there too.

And then you give me a nod. You’re done.

And so I quickly shove the cork back on and place the flask gently on the ground.

You take a deep breath and smile before glancing at the flask on the floor.

“Don’t worry,” I tell you. “It’s all safe enough in there. You can have it back any time you need it. But let’s just leave it there for a little while.”

How are you feeling now? Now that all the nervous energy and sickness is tucked away? What’s left? Who do we have now before us, ready to pull back that curtain?

How does she stand? How does she look? How does she feel?

I clear my throat before gathering the attention of the people around us, and you finally pull back that curtain with a big smile and a flourish.

There are gasps of ‘oooh’ and ‘wow’ and you smile again. People like it and it feels great.

But is that why you’re feeling great? Or were you already feeling fabulous long before the curtain went back?

Let’s fast forward to the end of the day.

With that flask still safely stored out of sight somewhere, you’ve spent the day talking about your thing. You’ve talked with excitement and passion and, to be frank, it’s totally infectious. You’ve had a blast!

Finally, as the last of the day’s light leaves us, you glance into your purse and are surprised to see that you didn’t make much money. Or maybe none at all. You’re surprised because you’ve had such fun and you didn’t even notice what was happening with the sales.

You’ve enjoyed a day of talking and laughing and sharing stories with some wonderful people, and you go to bed tired but satisfied and with that gorgeous big old smile of yours still on your face. You can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.

And as you’re about to drift off into dream land, I creep in and tug at your sleeve.

You try to shake me off but I’m pretty insistent. It’s important, I tell you, so you groan, sit up and rub your eyes a little.

“What?” you ask (just a little bit grumpily, I might add, but I let it go.)

“You forgot your flask, my lovely.”

“What the ….? You woke me up for that?”

“Ah, but it’s important, all the stuff in that flask, you’ve had that with you for ages so I figured it must be important for you to carry it around so long?”

“Nah. Just chuck it in the trash on your way out. It’s cool.” You see me hesitating so you add, “Hnestly. I don’t need it any more.”

“But what about your purse?” I ask. “Without the stuff in this flask, how are you going to cope if things don’t sell as fast as you’d like?”

“Ah it’s cool. I’ve had a fab day without all that stuff. Sure, not everyone bought but I know they will when it’s right for them. I’m looking forward to tomorrow. If it’s anything like today it’ll be great!”

And so I wish you sweet dreams and leave quietly, not forgetting of course to drop the flask into the trash can outside.

But what’s that you say? When am I going to get jiggy with some wand action?

Don’t tell me you missed it? OK, I admit it, it can be hard to see sometimes. I used my magic wand already. I just disguised it as a story so you wouldn’t get all freaked out.

Stories are powerful. If you’ve ever felt your heart rate race as your friend told you about her near-death adventure, you don’t need me to tell you that.

But even more powerful than the stories of others are the ones you tell yourself.

You’ll have stories that have been your companion for a long time and stories that you adopted along the way. But unlike the fairy tales, you get to choose which stories you live by and how they end.

If you’d like to find out more about the power of story and learn first hand the nifty tricks you can use to tweak your story, as well as why you might be setting yourself up for a crabby day before you’ve even got out of bed, I’m hosting a delightfully free webinar on Friday, the 29th called What’s Your Story? Click here to register. The session will be recorded so even if you can’t be there live, you can still enjoy the call.

What stories are you telling yourself today? Have you ever changed your story to change your day and if so, how did it go?

image:LaBella.