Day 18: Step Into Your Authority!

Claire Tompkins

Recently, I’ve changed the way I work with my clients.

I’ve gotten less nice, so I can love them better.

I used to believe that offering my clients choice and freedom was treating them kindly. I didn’t want to box them in. They were all individuals with unique situations and deserved to select their own solutions.

When a question came up, say, about dealing with the mail, I’d tell my client that there were many options. Sort of like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz who tells Dorothy that either direction on the road is a nice way to go, and that people do go both ways.

I’d outline the options and list a few of the pros and cons of each one in an unbiased way so as not to influence her with my own agenda. She would look at me thoughtfully and make her choice.

We’d set up her mail sorting area in the way she chose. A week or so later when I checked in with her, it was working, but she didn’t seem sure about it. She didn’t have specific questions, but she wasn’t convinced that her problem was solved.

What was going on? She’d chosen this method herself. Why wasn’t she committed to it?

Meanwhile, I was asking myself some hard questions about what my business was about.

I didn’t have a branded system that I always recommended to clients, and I thought I should. Something with a catchy name and a cute logo.

I couldn’t come up with anything that felt comfortable to me, though. So I focused on using myself as my brand. That meant being more “me” in my business, which I’d resisted before.

I had a persona; a very organized, no-nonsense, school marm-ish kind of gal without much humor. She wasn’t really me, but she seemed professional and that was the important thing.

People had told me I couldn’t be totally honest in my business, like, saying anything that indicated I, Claire, was not organized 24/7. That hung me up for a long time.

Over time, I’ve become more like myself.

I’ve discovered that I have strong ideas and opinions and that I can relate them to clients without seeming controlling or rigid.

Because I’m not telling them what to do. I’m giving them my expert guidance, which is what they are paying for. That was a big realization.

When I don’t step into my authority and use all my experience and wisdom to help my clients, I’m failing them. Loving my clients means giving them what they want based on what I know about what they need.

If they want eight ideas for handling their mail, they can read an organizing book. They pay for my help because I can ask the right questions and come up with a tailor-made solution that I know will work for them instead of proposing generic suggestions.

In real life, the first solution isn’t always the perfect one. We keep trying till we hit the sweet spot. That works much better than confusing them with too many half-heartedly offered ideas.

Are you under-loving your clients by being too agreeable and ambiguous? What happens when you take a stand and speak from your expertise to truly help them? Tell me in the comments below.