Volunteering. It’s my Achilles’ Heel.
Now, volunteering is a wonderful thing. Selflessly giving to others is one of the most beautiful things that humans do. And volunteering is not without its rewards: it makes you feel good, plus you gain experience, confidence and skills. I consider the six years I spent as a volunteer curator to be time and energy well spent.
But for some of us, volunteering can have a darker side.
Hi everyone. My name is Kirsty and I am a Volunteer Junkie.
My desire to help people is genuine and strong. But I have also used volunteering as an excuse for under-earning.
Like many artists, I have deliberately worked low-paid jobs so that I could carry on doing what I love for free. I am scarily comfortable with free. Free feels safe. Free feels happy-making. Free feels virtuous.
Asking to be paid is far less comfortable. It feels scary. It feels responsible. It feels greedy.
But even a chronic under-earner can get sick of not being paid, and that’s what happened to me.
The Danger of Defaults
So I started a business. Accidentally. Slowly it dawned on me that many of the artists I met were pretty damn clueless about the internet and I… wasn’t. Boy, I’m glad those hours of Neopets finally came in useful.
But now that I AM running a business, it has become acutely clear that despite the protests of my Volunteer Junkie, ‘giving away all the things’ can no longer be my default setting.
Instead my default setting must change to ‘people pay me for things’.
Because business people who give all their stuff away don’t stay in business for very long unless they have a clever, alternative business model. And I don’t.
Consequences
Unfortunately, after years of chronic volunteering, the line between ‘smart lead generation’ and ‘selling the family silver’ is blurrier for me than a hungover Sunday morning.
Let’s look at the very first thing I did for Customer Love, shall we? I publicly announced that I wouldn’t be selling anything at the end of the month. Oh now, there’s smart!
Now, there were some sensible timing reasons for this. I was launching an online class in the first week of November and I had plans for a 48-hour sale in mid-December to celebrate my birthday (although surely 10 days before Christmas is a bloody daft time to try and sell anything).
But the truth is that I fell prey to my Volunteer Junkie’s insidious whisper:
‘You can’t ask people for money thrice in 6 weeks, that’s just greedy.’
That’s. Just. Greedy.
You see what I’m dealing with here, people!
The next thing I did was to give away three of my mini-Eyeballs on Twitter.
Now I don’t regret this for a minute because it was awesome but while I was doing the work, it dawned on me that I was feeding my Volunteer Junkie again. By this point, my newly acquired Inner Businesswoman was rifling through her briefcase looking for a weapon to ding me around the head with.
In truth, for someone like me, a challenge like Customer Love is just a wee bit like offering heroin to a junkie. Oh, the heroin is on a lovely embossed silver plate called Let’s Be Nice To People. But it’s still heroin.
Going Into Detox
Since the Customer Love Challenge started, my Inner Businesswoman has been asking some pointed questions:
Is it really generous to give away my services for nothing? What about the people who paid? How does that make them feel? Like they’re not in the inner circle of people I like enough to help for nothing? Like the thing they paid for is worth less? Like they’ve been scammed?
Hmm, when you think of it that way, just automatically giving everything away doesn’t sound quite so loving and generous, does it?
Now, I’m not saying that giving away Your Thing is wrong. I’ve been touched and impressed by the generous offers other Customer Love participants are making. But I was just giving thoughtlessly, and my Volunteer Junkie would have carried on doing that all month if my Inner Businesswoman hadn’t started shrieking and throwing expensive handbags at me.
Finding a new way forward
It’s clear that my challenge for Customer Love is to learn what loving my peeps can mean if I don’t simply default to giving away my stuff.
Switching off my automatic default setting is forcing me to be more inventive. That’s the thing with defaults; they lead to lazy thinking. If your default is ‘give it away’, you never think beyond that. Not until you’re forced to by an irate Businesswoman in your head.
So now I’m having to stretch and grow to come up with some new way to love on my peeps.
One solution I’ve discovered is Vyou, a new video site where people can ask me questions and I answer them in a short video.
I’m still giving away my time and energy – this is Customer Love, after all. But instead of giving a 30 minute Artist’s Eyeball to a single person, I’m now building a resource that can be used by all my people. That seems both smarter AND more loving to me.
I’m not saying that I’ll never give my stuff away again. Of course I will. But I hope that I’ll do so only when it’s truly the generous and loving thing to do.
And I shall run it past my Inner Businesswoman first…
Is your Inner Businesswoman [or -man] shrieking at you? Tell us in the comments below!
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[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kirsty Hall, Marlene Hielema and LaVonne Ellis, Customer Love. Customer Love said: Day 12: The Volunteer Junkie – http://is.gd/gYAg9 #customerlove […]
[…] (Relax, I’m not that eloquent – I own a thesaurus…) Perhaps I should have read Kirsty’s Volunteer Post a bit more […]
[…] was running amok with new ideas, while my inner critic was busy shooting them down. Evidently, my inner businesswoman had gone […]
[…] the interview, Kirsty refers to her guest post during the last challenge, The Volunteer Junkie. LaVonne is the Chief Customer Lover around here. She's also a FORMER complete flake, but don't […]
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Oh, geez, Kirsty, we must have been separated at birth! I am slowly and painfully learning how to say that oh-so-important word that two-year-olds know best:
“No.”
My first impulse is usually to give it all away, to say “yes” to any request. I’ve learned the hard way that this leaves me depleted (not to mention poor), and that setting limits is absolutely essential!
Hard, but essential.
I love that you’ve figured out a way to give love to your customers without giving away yourself in the process.
That was the thinking behind my Sandbox Sessions too: how can I love my customers and really be of service, while also helping myself.
I figured out (thanks to LaVonne’s inspiration!) how I could really help out others in a way that wasn’t taking up great gobs of my time, and had the added benefit of getting me that much more focused on the stuff that I want to get done!
Win-win!
I wish all solutions came so (relatively) easily…
This Customer Love thing can definitely be like handing an open bottle of Cabernet to an alcoholic… Yikes!
(And by the way, your “Mini-Eyeball” was so incredibly helpful! Anyone reading this, if you’re looking for feedback on a sales page, Kirsty knows how to cut straight to the chase. She’ll tell you what works, and what will make your page better. An invaluable service!)
I had so much fun doing your Artist’s Eyeball, Melissa, I’m glad it was helpful.
I suspect that becoming a Volunteer Junkie is something artists are particularly prone to simply because there’s a lot of that Starving Artists Mindset in the art world. We’re pretty much *expected* to work for free, especially in the beginning. Outgrowing that can be painful and I’ve certainly found it a continuing challenge.
I’m still looking for ways in which I can love on my customers without damaging my own long term prospects.
I’ll second that, Melissa — Kirsty really opened my eyes with her “Mini-Eyeball”, lol!
Thanks LaVonne.
I hear ya, Kirsty! It’s so funny how in a world that is clearly driven by money, so many of us are uncomfortable asking for any. Largely women, I’m guessing.
The other piece of this is that when you do charge, you need to charge enough. Charging too little sends all kinds of unintended messages to your customers (and yourself) as well. I’ve gotten burned enough times on that to have finally learned my lesson, and my Inner Businesswoman will be nearly doubling my rates come January. Yeehaw!
This stuff takes audacity, doesn’t it? 🙂
BTW, I did visit your Vyou and enjoyed it a lot. I think someone who videotapes herself in a dazzling tiara sewing sequins and discussing chickens has a delightful bit of audacity, LOL. I couldn’t think of a question off the top of my head, but I’m working on one!
I agree with Sue. I’m in the middle of raising my rates to a more ethical and sustainable pay scale, and it ain’t easy! But being paid lower than what you’re worth is almost like working for free, neither of which is sound business practices. Unless you’re very clear with your funnel.
Still, it’s hard not to slip back into old habits. Especially when you could sure use the money! But better the restructuring than working for free.
Great article, Kirsty!
Exactly Kriszia and if you raise your rates, you need less customers to make the same amount of money. It is hard though and as I just said to Sue above, I do struggle with it. But I read recently that you should either go expensive or free but never cheap because cheap sends all the wrong messages, plus people who get stuff for cheap are often the hardest customers to please.
” people who get stuff for cheap are often the hardest customers to please.”
That’s a breakthrough phrase for me. Swear. It’s going on a sticky note on my monitor.
I second this idea. They see you not valuing yourself, so they don’t value you either. They can smell how much you want the business and think that gives them license to make more demands. Not everyone, obviously, and it may not even be a conscious thing, but it’s a pattern I’ve definitely noticed.
Thanks for your comment, Sue. I’ve met guys who struggle with this too but it does seem to affect women a lot. I think it’s something to do with having that ‘service’ mentality drummed into us.
Well done on your price increase, I hope it goes well. I’m still struggling with mine.
Been there, done that and can relate to your “volunteer junkie”. It seems to be especially insidious for creative people and people providing a service like coaching, counselling, etc. Something about charging for our services triggers that internal lizard brain (which is all about survival & staying safe) which then throws out the free/volunteer card to save us from discomfort.
I haven’t been as active as I’d like on customerlove, but it has been awesome watching all of you step out! Thanks for your ongoing inspiration.
Yes definitely, Sandi. I think it’s all about avoiding discomfort in ourselves. It’s very hard to stand up and say, “I am worth this”. I’m sure my Volunteer Junkie is a protective mechanism.
O. M. G. I just wrote down a “brilliant idea” about giving stuff away to promote myself! I love the thought of changing your default setting.
THIS is why, actually, I did NOT do #customerlove even though I know it works. I am already a give-away ho. Woo, now I feel better and can work on this issue.
THANK YOU for articulating it so…um…articulately!
You’re welcome, Simone. It seems like it’s a challenge for many of us. I think a lot of it has to do with that female conditioning around being ‘nice’.
Oh, my inner businesswoman (or rather my bank account) is screaming. But here’s the catch for me – I’ve been around all of four months, and two of them were on another domain name. No one knows who I am, much less why they should pay me for my services. My hope (and I’d love feedback on this) is that by offering free-mini consults and maybe a free product during the month, I can get my name into people’s consciousness and have a shot at actually making some sales when the month is over.
Hi Kirsten, there are times when free is a good solution. I offered free consulting when I started my business and those people are now starting to refer paid clients to me. Plus I got testimonials from several of them, which added social proof to my sales pages. The trick is to see free as part of your overall strategy, which is sounds as though you’re doing. I’d suggest putting your prices on your website so that people know how much of a bargain they’re getting – it also helps fix in their minds that you are going to be charging at some point.
When I offered free consulting to my peeps, I’d already been blogging for three years and had a small but loyal following. However, it sounds like you’re starting from scratch, so you’ve got what Scott Stratten calls ‘a trust gap’. Having a consult with someone is a pretty intimate process and people have to know and trust you before they’ll be up for it.
Letting my Volunteer Junkie out to play for a moment, you’re putting a HUGE obstacle on your website by making people sign up with their email before they can even see what you’re offering. People can be very wary of giving up their email addresses. If this is not a deliberate strategic choice, I would change this as soon as humanely possible.
There’s a lot of wisdom in this post…and in the comments discussion. Thank you ALL for sharing. I’m off to have a chat with my inner businesswoman…and I think I might listen to her this time!
Mine has clearly realised that she has to be a bit of a bitch to get my attention. 🙂
Thank you for this!!!
While I disagree with the oft-held corollary that barter is also Automatically Bad, I agree with you here that free isn’t always the service to ourselves or to others, that we automatically think it is.
Gareth Hobbs of “Fight Mediocrity” (fight-medicority.com) wrote an amazing makes-you-stop-and-think post on when free isn’t free.
He points out that many times free can be awesome material, but because of the price point, people don’t value it as much as something they spend money on.
Between this post and the Awesome Chat, you’ve given me a lot to think about.
Thank you. 🙂
Thirding the opinion on Kirsty’s skills! I was blessed to be one of the people receiving a blog eyeball, as it were, back when she was first starting out, and yes, she has amazing eyes! Borrow them and let her see where you can take your awesomeness to the next level! 🙂
Oh, I’m all for barter, Birdy – I think it’s a wonderful thing. I like free too. I just think that we risk shooting ourselves in the foot with these things if we do them mindlessly.
Thanks for the kind words about my skills, I do appreciate it.
Actually I disagree emtirely…I’ve decided to make givin away for free my thing…but then I am desperately trying to avoid being enmeshed in business, its just like 9 to 5 but worse in many ways….I never know which time is mine…so I am going to start giving away my business/my ideas for business….micro-franchises for all..I’ve done one already, and the person I gave it to has decided that I can have 50% of the business on condition that she doesn’t make me talk or inviolve me in how she rolls it out….just listens to my tips here and there….and GO FOR IT 🙂 Soon as we’ve got The Bollywood Ball out of the way we;re drawing up contracts…and I’ll start looking at all the other businesses I’ve got to give away…freeing me up to relax for a while 🙂
not sure how its gonna work out, and in serious need of some money but….determined to follow the Yellow Brick Road 🙂
Hooray, a disagree!
Jenny, thanks so much for this alternative view. I just want to be clear that I’m not at all averse to giving things away for free. I’ve been deliberately giving away my knowledge on my blog for the last three and a half years and I will continue doing so. People can come to my blog, read my free resources page and go away with a far stronger idea of how to succeed online. I don’t mind if they never buy a single thing from me. I know that not everyone can afford my services and I’m committed to helping as many people as I can.
It sounds as though you’re more interested in the idea generation process rather than taking an idea through to business completion, Jenny. That’s a fabulous skillset and I adore the idea of Jenny The Muse.
Btw, do you know @Mayah_Riaz on Twitter? She’s been doing a lot of fundraising for the floods in Pakistan too.
I loved this post and the concept of the Inner Businesswoman that you introduced here Kirsty! I can see in the comments so far that everyone of us can relate to this on some level.
I saw it mentioned on a forum that we need to think about the psychology of giving things away as well- that when you give something and the other person takes it, it leaves a little niggle in the back of their mind that they may “owe” you something even though you gave it with no strings attached. By attaching a price tag to it, the person on the other end can buy it and feel good about it too- it’s a win-win! When I think about it that way, I am less inclined to put too much out there for free because I know that people normally do expect to pay for things that they perceive to be of value.
Hi Christy, thanks for your comment. It’s really come home to me during Customer Love that many people REALLY don’t like feeling obligated to others. I’ve had several people who’ve immediately tried to repay me and we’ve wound up bartering our skills. When I thought about it I realised that I find that ‘when is the other shoe going to drop?’ feeling pretty uncomfortable myself. It’s been a great lesson in reciprocity for me.
wow…great article and great feed back. So many levels here and lots to think about.
I truly believe it has to be a fine balance between the two. Artist’s tend to give too much away and price their work too low. valuing ourselves and our work is what’s under all of this. as artists and women we have a double whammy.
Being conscious of this, reading and really thinking about all these comments and valuing ourselves will help us strike that right balance for each of us so we can make a good living at what we are born to do.
Hi Kathryn, sorry for not answering your comment sooner, I didn’t realise it was here.
You’re absolutely right that many artists tend to give too much and price too low and I think it’s a real problem because it puts us into a position of vulnerability right from the start. That said, pricing our art higher is extraordinarily difficult for most of us because it’s so wrapped up in our identity and our emotions.