The biggest challenge in #customerlove is this: Putting yourself out there.
You know?
We’ve become (okay, I’m speaking about me) a cynical, “what’s in it for you?” sort of society. We want to believe in love and kum-by-ya but it ain’t so much been the reality for us me.
My biggest challenge in life (yeah, it’s on my pinkies, so it’s real) is trusting. Trusting other people, sure, but trusting me and surrendering to what is – is at the core of it. I mean, if I reach across the internetz and tell you that I love or admire you – (not in a stalkery, I-know-what-you’re wearing-under-those-running-shorts sort of way) will you reject me?
Is there a possibility that you might not reject me because you have no freaking clue who I even am? Do I matter?
So #customerlove is scary that way.
The thing is, I don’t realize something is scary when it’s first presented as a challenge. Nope, I jump in. Mostly because of the word “challenge.”
I want to win. Yes, I’m aware that is ludicrous – especially in a challenge called #customerlove — but there it is.
I didn’t realize the first challenge was scary until I started. You may think long and hard before jumping into things, so you may have no idea what I mean. But if you leap before you look, you feel me now, right?
Once upon a time I was challenged to tell people, publicly, as in ON MY BLOG, that I loved ’em. And also tell them why.
So I sat down and wrote a list.
As I started writing it, I was humbled by the contribution all these “virtual” friends had made to my life. I was startled at how important they were to me. I was stunned that I had let that many people into my life. Whoa! I have trust issues and I suddenly realized these people knew a lot about me. And then my INTJ self jumped in and thought of how to get out of that uncomfortable space.
I went ahead and wrote the post (two, in fact). Not my best writing by far, but definitely from the gut and the heart and the place of love.
But then what to do?
>In case you’re wondering, THIS is where the scary part came in.<
I was AFRAID to tell people on the list that I wrote about them.
Because I was AFRAID they would THINK I was doing it for my own gain. (talk about reverse-horn-tooting issues!)
So I freaked a bit.
And I let it sit out there without so much as a push for a few hours.
Then I tweeted the people I named, because I figured I should – since I didn’t want them to hear from strangers that I’d used their names.
And I crossed my fingers and my toes that they understood that it was about love and gratitude. Not about the stuff I’m working on and would like to market and enroll people in – in 30 days or whenever. (heck, I’m not a non-profit!)
You know what they did?
They said thanks.
They left funny and wise and sweet comments. Some sent me emails that made me squeal with pleasure (kids, I do NOT squeal) because I had made their day.
Imagine that! I made someone’s day.
So that’s the opposite of fear, my peeps. Make someone’s day – they’ll love it. And you will too.
Your task today: Go public. Tell the world how much you appreciate someone, and then tell us in the comments below how it went.
-
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Alyson Earl and The Switchboards, Customer Love. Customer Love said: Day 7: Leap and Make Someone’s Day – http://is.gd/gMlyi #customerlove […]
[…] worried that if I joined the challenge, people would question my motives and my sincerity. Is she being nice and helpful because she’s a nice and helpful person? Or because […]
Leave a CommentThis site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I get caught up in the doubt and fear, too. When I’m wondering if I should tell someone I’ve mentioned that they’re fabulous, I try to think about how I’d feel if I was on the other side. And I think, even if it was the sleaziest of spammy-pantses, I’d be happy on balance that someone had called me out for being good. At worst, it’s getting my name out.
If it’s someone who is doing it for nice reasons, that turns into total delight 🙂
Colin — thanks for letting me know I’m not alone! And you’re right, I so often forget to put myself “in their shoes” when it comes to the stuff like this, but it works!
It’s making a difference in my approach to making a profit too — i.e., if I know I would love to hear about something (a product or service) because it’s up my alley, I remind myself other people want to hear about it too. What they do with the info is out of my hands, but if I don’t tell people about it — well, then my bad!
Yep, I like it when people like me — and take notice!
P
Thanks for this list. I plan to spend more time learning about most of them.Your post has prompted me to come out of the closet, too, to talk a bit about what it feels like to me to be at the beginning of creating an online presence/business.
Earlier this year I decided to leap before I looked, as is my usual modus operandi, and I quit my steady income, energy-zapping gig to take up the challenge of creating my own minimalist business based on my passion to, well, live my life instead of someone else’s version of what it should be. The details came later.
What I wanted to share today was how I felt two things for months: first, I felt like a lurker with a series of semi-crushes on people whom I found online who wrote about their lives which seemed so much like the one I longed to create. [After I read your comment following the V for Vendetta post, I went to your website and watched your videos. I was awestruck! You said healer out loud, and life’s purpose, and meaning, and those are the things I want to say, but get too scared that someone will call me an airy-fairy fool. So, thank you.]
I still wrestle with feeling like an outsider who will never fit into this clique of cool people. My first tweet took me 45 minutes to write, and I didn’t even have any followers so no one was going to read it!
It turns out I felt like a lurker and an outsider was because I hadn’t taken the leap and put myself out there. I was too scared of facing possible rejection, so I ‘collected more information’ otherwise known as stalling.
Joining this Customer Love challenge before I had narrowed my range of services was going to be was my way of pushing myself both out into the open and into a position of earning income by sharing my skills and talent with others. So, every day I push myself further and further, taking on projects that are a bigger than I have ever done before knowing that I can trust myself to figure out what need to be done and knowing that I have a growing circle of friends upon whom I can call when I need help. Thank you!!!!!!!!
Alyson, I am so happy and impressed that you are stepping up and putting yourself out there, using #customerlove as your friendly ‘nudge’! I think we all feel like lurkers at first, and that’s a perfectly appropriate way to start — to observe and learn first before stepping into the circle. And now you’re in, easy as introducing yourself. So glad to meet you!
I agree with LaVaonne — we all feel like lurkers at first. And you know, despite yours and my tendency to leap before we look, there’s a good precedent for lurking when it comes to twitter, blogging and such. I found that I could really gauge, what, if anything, I had to add to the conversation.
That made me more thoughtful.
But there’s nothing I like more (especially on Twitter) than someone who reaches out, adds their hello, or .02 to a conversation (or responds to my request for a recipe!)
So proud of you for stretching and going for it. And yeah, we’re allowed to be as airy-fairy as we want. That’s the joy of the internet!
Hi Alyson…
Welcome.
I can totally relate to everything you said. I’ve been lurking for years and it’s only in the past 12 months that I’ve started to join the conversation. And I got off to a very slow start. It took me a long time to compose my first “tweet to no one” too.
It’s getting easier and easier with practice. But I still hesitate to respond to people I haven’t already talked to. And I often feel like an outsider.
I signed up for this challenge for the same reason you did: to push myself out there on a daily basis. To meet new people. I’m so glad you commented here and that you joined the challenge! (And YAY YOU for taking the leap and following your dream!!)
YAY YOU TOO, Patty! What an awesome reason to join the challenge. So impressed with both of you!
Patty — so glad you’re in the challenge. And that we’re all able to learn how very much ALIKE we are.
When we start stretching, despite that fear (outsider, not good enough, fake, blah, blah blah) we DO stand as models for others that it can be done.
Taking down that veil and being ourselves is the first step to changing the world!
WOO HOO!
I love the whole giving back thing. That’s what Customer Love is all about right? I’m also a freak about making lists (it’s a thing with me, just like buying note pads, blank books and cool pens) so I’m going to follow in your path.
Isn’t it amazing how you can connect with people in such a real way online? It makes me appreciate all of you who have put yourself out there already – so we can all get to know you and your wonderful-ness.
I am a consummate list maker. although I admit they often get overlooked (the one in the kitchen, the car, the office. etc.!)
I have that notebook addiction AND the pen thing – luckily I have friends in a pen biz and they hook me up!
Yep — connecting online is a true form of building relationships! I’m so glad to meet you here!
You know on shows like CSI or Law &Order etc, when the detectives are looking around and think someone has a lonely life because there’s no family photos, or only 3 people at a funeral?
That’s us. Hubby and me have friends all over the world but very few where we live. I sometimes think I should leave a message somewhere that says, ‘We weren’t lonely or sad – just look online and see!’
I still wonder at people who think a life online is somehow less rewarding. When you’re physically limited like me, the computer is the great leveller: On here I’m no different to anyone else.
Having said that, I’m a terrible lurker, and often disappear for days!
It dawned on me the other day that I have far fewer photos in the house than I used to. I think it’s because I have so many online! (where I spend more time than anywhere else in the house ;))
Don’t get me wrong – I do have tremendous friends and family within 10 miles, but, yeah.
I’m just really grateful for all the amazing people in the world who make me feel so connected~
I love that “the computer is the great leveller!”
Awesome.
Ryah, it’s really insulting isn’t it, how condescending the media and entertainment types are toward anyone who actually LIKES the internet? And you are so right about it being the great leveller. It’s as close to true democracy as we’re ever going to see, I think. Thanks for your comment — it’s really nice to see you around again. 😉
Peggie, I love this post!
THIS: “Because I was AFRAID they would THINK I was doing it for my own gain.”
I used to think that all the time. Now I only think it some of the time. 😉 When it crops up, I remind myself that what other people think of me is their business, not mine. As long as my intentions are good, that’s all I can control. And yes…my experience has been just like yours – totally positive and it feels great to make someone’s day.
I like to think I have pretty good radar for people’s hidden agenda, like when they call me and chit-chat for ten minutes before they finally get around to asking for the favor they actually were calling about. And they never call me unless they want something. Yeah, it’s pretty obvious. Of course, everyone wants something from others, and I see nothing wrong with that. What’s skeevy is when they pretend they don’t.
As someone who has been lucky enough to be mentioned in the post that Peggie wrote, it never once occurred to me that she had a selfish reason for posting it. I can’t imagine anyone else on the list feeling that way either.
It IS scary to put yourself out there. I held my finger over the “publish” button for some time before posting my Sandbox Sessions.
Would LaVonne resent me for offering something similar to her Stuckbuster Sessions?
Would people laugh at me for implying that I’m kind of “expert” in getting stuff done?
Would I throw a party and then listen to the crickets when nobody showed up?
But you know what? Just the act of putting myself out there increased my sense of what I’m capable of. It made me feel my own generosity of spirit and the value that I have to offer. It made me feel good to offer something useful.
And then, lo and behold, some people signed up! Not a horde, but a handful, which is enough to make me feel like I’m doing some good.
Which is what it’s all about, right?
Thanks for a sweet post, Peggie!
Haha, I know what you mean, Melissa! I felt the same way when I decided to do the Stuckbuster Sessions, because I got the idea from somebody else. But she was fine with it and like you, I gave her credit. Good ideas just have a way of multiplying. 🙂
Melissa — I loved that Sandbox idea. And you know, we need to let ourselves off the hook and do what we do best, because the people we’re meant to help are going to find us, no matter how many other people are doing something similar — it’s a different flavor — like ice cream, maybe?
I mean there is no way you’re going to get me to eat Mint Chocolate Chip — even if it’s the only flavor in the house….I’ll look long and hard for something with coffee or caramel.
We forget that we have to resonate with our right providers and as providers we have to be the best version of ourselves to be available for our right clients.
It’s why I do the blogging for creatives – -not because I’m the world’s most famous blogger, but because my right people are hiding out and ‘thinking that it’s almost time to blog but they don’t know where or how to start’ and they, frankly, don’t want to be professional bloggers, they just want to heal, and use the blog as a tool….so, i help them.
There’s always someone else with a similar program title, but there’s only one you! Keep it up and keep changing the world!
Fear takes many forms – For me, expectations can blow it into a monster of oozing, slathering terror. So, I try to keep my expectations minimal.
For example, I’ve offered a biz question free for all for customer love, but am keeping my imagination (which is wont to run wild) and expectations close to home. If even one person asks a question, I’ll be thrilled. It’s pretty hard to work up a mountain of fear over one question after all.
Of course, there is the corresponding fear of not even getting one … 🙂
Monette! I love that description of fear….oozing AND Slathering….
Tell me more about the biz question free for all….what does it entail, how does it work?
Curiousity curiosity!