Guest Post: Seriously, I Just Don’t Care…

[Hey, it's Guest Post Monday! That means I get to sit back and let Yolanda Facio of Marketing Unhinged do all the work -- yay! -LaVonne]

CIA Agent: “How do you stay so calm right before you pull the trigger?”

Bad Guy: “I’m not calm… I’m focused.”

(Taken loosely from “Covert Affairs” TV show)

I have this incredible gift…the gift of compartmentalization. Whew, Sunday word.

This makes me a bit flaky, to say the least. It’s almost like being bi-polar. One minute you care, the next you absolutely do not. Sounds…terrible, doesn’t it.

But it has served me well, and I would argue that practicing the fine art of compartmentalization (there’s that word again) will help anyone get stuff done a bit better.

What the Heck is Compartmentalization, Anyway?

Basically it is the ability to focus on one thing at a time without letting everything else in your brain crowd it and to remove the emotional part which always gets things all futzed up.

Why is it flaky?

‘Cause I tend to say, “I just don’t care” a lot when I really do care! See?

But you’ve got to do it anyway; you’ve got to practice this. It’s like practiced flakiness that’s soooooo unflaky!

Example

You’ve slaved away all day on a new post for your blog. You’ve slaved the night away editing. You’ve basically worked your bum off. Blood, sweat, tears, heart, soul…it’s all in there. You publish.

An hour later some jack wagon comes along and leaves a comment: “Yeah, nice post BUT it would have been nice if you had also covered xyz. It’s like you left me hanging. I mean, I get what you’re saying but…”

You start to get that sinking feeling in your gut. Doubt rolls in; you might be a little queasy right before you start to get indignant. You hit the reply button and let him have it. Not good.

With a little compartmentalization, you can nicely pack away your feelings and hit the “I don’t care” button. You read his response, file away your feelings, assess his complaints and address them, calmly. Much better.

Marketing Guru Dan Kennedy tells a story about his early days making ends meet. He was presenting in front of a crowd who’d paid decent money to be there. At some point during his presentation he could see out the front window, where a tow truck was hooking up to repo a car — his car. He kept going.

There’s a time and place for everything…

Keeping the rational and emotional separate isn’t an easy task. Most people struggle with the ability to switch from one to the other. For me, it’s quite easy and quite necessary.

Let’s face it, when Sarah McLachlan starts singing on CNN with the pictures of all the battered dogs…I’d be broke if I couldn’t tuck those emotions away along with my checkbook.

If not for my very special gift, I’d be unnerved every time I had to talk with a new customer to basically sell or had to ask for big dollar invoices. We currently work with one client in Malibu who has a condo right below a very, very famous film director. I might get intimidated when working with this customer, especially when she becomes unreasonably demanding because she has lots o’ money.

I work with various types of customers and projects; most are high-dollar items. I’ve got to ask for and take the money for those projects. I’ve got to jump in and defend my work and employees. I’ve got to be calm. I’ve got to focus.

In order to stay professional and keep your cool, it is good practice to work on compartmentalizing your emotions and keeping them separate from your work. You can’t help having an emotional response to negative things that happen during your day, but in order to do your best for your customers and your work, you can’t let those emotions interfere.

But how?

Yes, well it takes some work. For me it comes quite naturally, so much so that I often complain about it. I work (one of my jobs) with my father and brother. While working with the Malibu client, they both became emotionally attached to the project. My brother would jump, rush, and scramble every time the woman called. My father would complain, growl and yell. So I have to do the pep talk and say to my father, “Why in the world would you let someone, anyone, get under your skin?”

Silence.

Exactly.

So here’s the How-To:

1. Remember that your personal space includes your feelings, your thoughts, your actions. Don’t let someone invade them. As soon as they do, you can’t control your feelings, thoughts, or actions.
2. Practice compartmentalizing early and often. At the smallest bother, stop, take a deep breath and say — out loud if you must — “I don’t care.” Pull the emotion aside, close the door, pocket the key and get on with it.
3. If you must, get a sounding board. I’ve got mine; usually it’s my poor mother. I call her up, whine and complain and bitch — get it all out of my system. It makes it easier to compartmentalize when you’ve had a chance to rant and rave.
4. Don’t assume the emotions go away. Granted, I do the compartmentalization thing well. Sometimes too well! But when a big one comes along I’ve got to rant. (See #3 above.) It is necessary for everyone. Somehow, you need to work out the emotions, if you let them pile up you’ll likely explode on some poor unsuspecting character who may or may not deserve it. Some of us rant, some of us exercise, some of us go for a drive…whatever your medicine, don’t ignore the need to medicate.

Start small and practice. It’s the best way to get good at handling and separating your emotional connection to your work. (It also works with family, by the way.)

Now get out there, you heartless, uncaring, flaky and assertive girls and boys! I won’t let your secret out!