Day 4: Don’t Let Anyone Should on You

When you start a business, people come out of the woodwork to tell you how to run it.

I’ve been told I should make cold calls. I should raise my prices, lower my prices, take them off the website, put them on. I should tell my customers when I need help. I should make my customers think I’m infallible.

I should choose a target market based on who has money. I should ignore the money and choose a target who is the most fun. I have been advised to target divorce lawyers, plumbers and painters.

I went sailing last summer; the helmsman told the woman on the jib how to manage her inventory. He also gave her unsolicited advice on her pricing structure.

Well-intentioned people fill your head with what you can’t do or should do or have to do. The truth is you can, shouldn’t and don’t. I’ve been told I can’t support myself. I’m making a mistake. I shouldn’t start a business in this economy. I can’t make a living doing something I think is fun.

Sound familiar?

The unsolicited advice I want to give you has to do what feels authentic. Take the actions that speak to you. Authenticity is doing what you feel is best even when the whole world tells you you are wrong. You’re not wrong. Trust yourself.

You know how to love your customers better than anyone else.

When you make authentic choices, it shows. You feel better; your customers feel it too. When I talk to someone who gets my sense of humor, we both feel great. When I force myself to talk to plumbers and divorce lawyers, I can’t make a connection. We both feel it.

Customer love is like any love – you can’t fake it.

Everyone at some point in business, especially in the beginning, gets scared that they don’t know enough. In my efforts to allay those fears I found some bad advisors. It’s so easy to scare yourself into doing and believing stuff that isn’t right for you and your business. I made bad choices based on bad advice, but I unmade those choices.

You can unmake choices too. What bad advice have you gotten? What do you think you HAVE to do that you would love to stop doing?

I’m not advocating you stop doing your taxes. I’m suggesting you take cold-calling out of your marketing repertoire if it doesn’t come naturally. If it doesn’t feel right, you don’t make an authentic impression. The conversation feels forced on both sides. Stop forcing it and free your time to make connections in ways that feel good. Do what comes naturally.

Love your customers in your most authentic way.

I met a woman at a networking event. She had started a very interesting website. Interesting enough for me to profile on my site. We were having a nice chat about her project and her business model.

A third woman barged into the discussion to drop off a business card and a badly laid out flyer. Her goal was clearly to drop off as many flyers as possible, not to connect with people. I would wager that she doesn’t enjoy networking events. If she could stop networking this way and focus on connecting in ways that felt right to her, she would get farther.

Follow your instinct, go with your gut.

The advice-givers, myself included, are well intentioned. They want to know you will be safe. Or maybe they want to protect themselves. Either way, their advice is not about you. Make your decisions based on what you feel is the best thing. The can’ts, shoulds and have tos aren’t the final word. You can. You don’t have to. Don’t let anyone should on you.

You have the final say in your business. Love your customers the way you love best.

Are you still dealing with fears that you don’t know what you’re doing? Tell me about it in the comments below.