Day 15: Do You Believe in True Love?

A recurring theme I see throughout the customerlove challenge is hesitation. A doubt tinged with fear: “But what if..?”

“What if I never find my perfect people? What if all this time and energy I have put into the challenge does not pay off and leaves me drained, financially and emotionally? What if I am looking for love in all the wrong places?”

But, shining strong underneath, a need to believe. You do believe it exists, don’t you?

You wouldn’t be here otherwise.

Yet it’s difficult to completely abandon yourself. Because that makes you vulnerable. And you are not so sure you want to be. Nobody wants to get hurt.

I know how you feel. I am not speaking from a pedestal, I am not looking down at you.

I have been there.

I wasn’t sure I would find those ideal customers, or that they even existed. But I wanted to believe in them oh so badly!

And so I did.

I started to believe in them, regardless of what the tiny scared voice in my head was saying. I ignored the voice, ignored the “way things are done” rules, ignored the so-called tips and advice that come in the form of numbered and bulleted lists.

I started talking to my imaginary ideal customer, making things with her in mind, rebuilding my whole website and concept so that it would appeal to them. That alone was enough of a start.

I knew they wouldn’t laugh at my passion. They would understand why my voice breaks with excitement when I am talking about things that are at the very heart of what I do. They would just get it, all of it, both the serious and the funny, the playful and the subtle lessons. They would know I mean well. In all things.

And then a miraculous thing happened:

They heard me.

Just a handful at first.

Then, slowly but surely, more, and more, until I was giddy with excitement at this love returning back to me.

I still have to pinch myself sometimes to remember that my ideal customers, the ones I adore so much, are not just imaginary anymore.

And I refuse to believe this was a fluke, or some lucky break, or that the chances of this happening are one in a million. In fact, I’m 100% certain you can find your ideal people too. If you believe in them. If you keep looking. If you don’t settle.

“But how do I know where to find my ideal people?”

I hear you asking.

And that is the very core of the problem. You don’t.

There is no book, no teacher, no course that can answer this question for you. You will not find a step-by-step guide that will deliver your ideal customers — or your money back. There will never be any other way to find out but to take a risk.

How?

Only you know this. Though many can probably help with advice. And it may not even work out the first time around. It takes courage not to curl into a ball after yet another rejection, but to get up, dust yourself off and to try again.

But it’s worth it!

Believe me when I tell you this: the feeling that you get when you find those who truly understand you, who need what you can offer, who love what you do with all that special flavor that only you can bring… it’s worth that, and a thousand times more.

Just like many of you, my first instinct is to try and please everyone. I am much more sensitive than I let on, and I am known to toss and turn at night over such slight things as a not-too-nice word written in an email.

But then… I remember what I believe in, what I stand for, and I hold my head high and stand firm, and look the critics straight in the eye and tell them what I think. Nicely. With style. And I move on.

Because just around the corner, yet another of my perfect people that I am madly in love with is applauding my action, and another one writing a similar viewpoint on her blog.

And yet again I am reminded that it’s ok. I don’t have to please everyone.

These people are more than enough.

I could have settled for a luke-warm relationship that paid the bills. I am glad I didn’t. Yes, I took some risks, ones that may seem crazy to an outsider. I only did this with people I thought could be my ideal ones.

If I think you might be my perfect person, when working with you, I might:

• sneak into your admin panel while you’re sleeping (easy to do with the time differences) and upload a couple of images made especially for you, ‘cause I know you need them
• read between the lines of your comments, tweets and emails, and send you a bossy email that tells you in no uncertain terms that I will help you — whether you ask for it or not
• recognize your excuses for what they really are and find a way that makes it easier for you — even if it involves taking on a role that isn’t normally mine
• offer a completely unexpected freebie, right at the time you need it most.

All of these are things I have done. Every single one of them is a risk.

Time and energy invested to do this may or may not pay off. Yet if I don’t take the risk, I will never know.

There is a logical part to all this, believe it or not: I choose the people I take these risks with. They are people I already know. I feel a spark between us. I can tell we will click.

I am right in 99% of the cases. I have learned to trust my instincts; it’s part of the job description.

I am not perfect though, I make mistakes. Not every one of those risks paid off. But some did, and that is more than enough.

But even if I was right in only 10% of the cases, I’d still take the risks. Because the benefit — mutual love — is oh-so-worth it! And I am not talking about just that mutual-like feeling; I am talking about that completely blown away and smitten one. And it’s so fulfilling and inspiring, that, after you have experienced it, it’s hard to settle for anything less.

Don’t get me wrong: not every single client can be the perfect fit.

But if you give up and settle for a somewhat-close or as-long-as-they-pay-me fit, what you do will never live up to its full potential. It’s not easy, of course.

Nothing worth fighting for ever is.

Not every cute guy or girl you meet in a local bar will turn out to be the right person for you. — and in the same way, not every client that seems to have the characteristics you look for will turn out to be the perfect fit. Just like you may not know until you have been dating someone for a while whether their idea of the most romantic weekend corresponds with yours, so may a customer relationship take a while to blossom into that mutual feeling of being perfectly in tune with each other.

But the thing is, you will never know until you try.

What does it take for you to start that sparkle? Only you know the right answer. There is no one-size-fits-all; there are no 10 steps to undying customerlove or your money back. Your answers will not be the same as mine. But I am sure you have some ideas.

Just… trust your instincts!

Go a step beyond. Don’t be afraid to make your offer stand out in a unique way. Follow up with those you feel could be special, and offer something extra.

Of course, only do it if you think it’s worth the risk.

But then again, if you believe in true customerlove, then you really can’t help but take the risks and keep looking. And I know that in the end, you will find it. As long as you keep the faith.

(And if you ever need support — there is no better place to find it than the amazing customerlove community.)

What about you? Do you believe?