A year ago today I stood up, took a step, and my left foot buckled under me. It was fast asleep, completely numb. I heard a crack as I went down, and I knew that wasn’t good.
But as it turns out, it was actually very good. My broken foot and the medical bills that resulted (as well as my broken car and its repair bill) are what eventually led to the first CustomerLove challenge. Funny how bad news can be the motivating factor for good things in the end.
But I have a confession to make: I lost my way for a while. If you’ve followed the challenge for long, you may have noticed a lower level of participation and enthusiasm from me.
What happened was that in the initial flush of excitement from the first couple of challenges, and with some people predicting big things for me, I thought I had to make those predictions come true somehow. There’s nothing wrong with thinking big, but if you forget your true purpose, you can’t help but lose your way.
I got sidetracked by a-list dreams and forgot why I fell in love with CustomerLove in the first place (and what makes it so unique and wonderful): you. And for a few yucky months of anxiety and dread as I tried to be someone else, I lost me.
I couldn’t make myself do anything. I mindlessly surfed the web while the TV droned in the background. I watched Netflix marathons. I talked a big game, but inside I was quaking in my sandals. I was not ready to be big, and I knew it.
Then a couple of weeks ago, in my now-usual Resistance mode, I jokingly tweeted, “I should change my name to Ida Wanna.” And Jude Spacks recognized the poorly disguised call for help. (Thank you, Jude!) We got on the phone and she asked me to talk about Ida, the part of me that resists. She asked me to name the part of me that Ida is resisting, so I called her Idoo. (They’re the Wanna twins, of course.)
By the end of the impromptu coaching session, Ida and Idoo had called a truce. Idoo agreed to stop punishing Ida and allow her to have fun, and Ida agreed to stop resisting Idoo’s good intentions.
Of course, I didn’t believe for a second that my procrastination problem had been solved, but a glimmer of an idea came to me: now I could do anything I wanted to do – without guilt. I could mindlessly surf the web if I wanted to. I could watch all the TV and Netflix movies I wanted.
I could even be me.
I didn’t have to be big. I could have fun instead (and who knows, that might lead to bigness some day, but it doesn’t matter.) What’s fun?
CustomerLove is fucking FUN.
So that’s my long-winded way of saying: I’m back! And I’m ready to ROCK. Let’s get this party started!
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Great post LaVonne. So human and vulnerable. We’ve all been there, it’s just too bad that most people are so busy ‘making as if” things are perfect that it puts pressure on everyone else to be perfect, instead of human!
And bravo Jude Spacks! A good woman to have in your corner!
Thanks Anne. You’re so right about the pressure we all feel to be as perfect as we THINK everyone else is – it’s a vicious circle, but so hard to recognize. I think I’ve finally figured out that if I’m having a hard time making myself do something, I should listen to the resistance and find out why. There’s probably a good reason.
Dear LaVonne,
I prefer my heroes with feet of clay, Dearie. Thank you for sharing this, and for sticking with us! And if it isn’t fun, then what’s the point?
Be your own best, true self. That IS success, the best kind.
Susan
Oh, you haven’t heard the half of my feet of clay, Dearie. So many stories, so little time! And yes, fun is the whole point. Gotta remember that.
LaVonne,
You are such an inspiration in so many ways and I’m pretty sure you don’t get who you are for the CustomerLove community. We love you, the Wanna twins and the flake. All of you, and as our friend Karen Paritee would say, “We wouldn’t have you any other way.”
xoS
Lol, thank you, Sandi. The Wanna twins are starting to grow on me too. 🙂
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU TOO!
Lovely post as always and so perfect for the Customer Love challengers.
I love that you reminded us with your generous personal story that what
is right for me is all that matters.
I’m not competing with anyone else and I have my own path to take.
Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks Phyllis – human nature is so pigheaded, though, isn’t it? How many times have we read/heard that very advice, but until it ‘clicks’ in our heads, it’s just so much noise. And then we forget it and have to find the switch in the dark all over again.
Yey!! Welcome back 🙂
Yay, thanks!
Rock on, LaVonne!
Mwah!
Deelicious – and a powerful point: necessity being the mother of invention. If we don’t have a pain, we don’t try to find a solution to it. 🙂
God bless pains – without them, most of us wouldn’t have clients!
LaVonne,
This is exactly why I love you!
Vas
YAY! Glad to have you back! :>
It will still be big: IN ITS OWN TIME AND IN ITS OWN WAY! 🙂
Which is to say that relaxing and being yourself are the most important things.
And as someone whose Chief Fun Officer may or may not be responsible for the current lack of Internetz at our house, I am so happy to meet the Wanna twins. :>
Fun rules! 🙂
I’m so glad you’re found, now! I’m looking forward to this challenge – I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going, but I have a good idea of what I want to do. Let’s get ready to rumble!
LaVonne – so glad you decided to rededicate to CL. I’ve really enjoyed the interaction. So many talented and simply lovely people involved.