Today I am 71.

It is an odd number in more ways than one. For one thing, I never imagined myself at this number of years. There is a quote that I can’t remember exactly, and a Google search did not find, something about the surprise of waking up old. That’s what it feels like — surprise, along with a few more aches and pains.

In my mind, I am still in my forties–thirties, even.
I am every age I ever was.
Twelve, on the cusp of childhood and adolescence, still yearning to be older.
Eighteen, trembling at the first touch of a man.
Nineteen, a mother too young.
Twenty-six, wounded in love and starting over in a new country.
Thirty-two, grasping at love and self-worth.
Forty-one, relearning how to mother.
Forty-four, standing in my own power.
Fifty, starting over yet again.
And again, and again.

So here I am, starting over every day.

Today is my birthday. I am 71.

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Showing 9 comments
  • Devan Winters
    Reply

    That was absolutely perfect 👌. Happy birthday friend. I hope your day, and your year, are blessed beyond your wildest expectations.

  • Ed Helvey
    Reply

    A great BIG Happy Birthday wish, LaVonne, from me to you. You’re catching up with me, but I’ll never let you pass me in years. Wishes for lots more of these special anniversaries. BTW, if you have access to or know someone who has – HBO, I absolutely commend you to watch a fantastic documentary titled, “If I’m Not In the Obit, I’ll Have Breakfast.” It’s produced by the legendary, 95 year old, Carl Reiner. It will change everything you ever felt about age and aging. Have a TERRIFIC Day.

  • MJG
    Reply

    To the point, LaVonne. We are everyone we’ve ever been. Even the person we never intended to be. ❤️

  • LaVonne Ellis
    Reply

    Apologies for taking so long to reply to your comments, dear friends! I keep forgetting to check and didn’t even realize comments were waiting. :\

  • Glenn Kushel
    Reply

    A belated Happy Birthday! Glenn

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